eros the bittersweet

persephone | sonnet twenty eight

there are worlds to be seen without the
embrace of one, excise the faults
out of wounds we have given, extract the tears
from each other’s flesh and discover

yet among discoveries a gist of truth and
a trace of laughter that hymn the loneliness
of my veins and bones, with sadness
the space widens and in it i gravitate,

our souls halted in babel, our blood found
a harbor in the reminiscence of lost moments
bruised and battered by the sigh of an

ancient yearning, its roots gnawing deep
unto my ground, there are worlds to be seen
never without the embrace or eyes of one ~ you.

persephone | sonnet twenty seven

latitudes ache for the unjaded, unguarded
molecules of dawn that spill over my crushing
longing, twisting in the sigh of such grand,
intimate humanness of your calm, intrepid

voice that call upon me before i close my
eyes and i wander in open, immense
wilderness hunting for the scent that
you give life to…you are Persephone after all ~

not to be reduced to a muse but the cause
alone of growth and the mother of spring
clutching to my sanity yet ready to lose

it once more for an idle and impeccable
touch that resemble the hands of rain
as it burns ~ consumed by shadows.

persephone | sonnet twenty six

winter emerges scathed by the ardent longing,
fuming rage, tempestuous fire that
your hands nurtured, impressions of us
precipitate after a dark age of absence

and desolation, my words fueled by
the necessary ache i gather from what
we once had, sustained by a trace of breath,
an iota of unsaid glances that hurl itself

in my slumber, the savage, forceful, unremitting
muse that cage my heart solemnly inside
her palm, mourning for madness lost

under the lamina of your peace and grace,
seeking no other mouth but yours to caress
the skin that cloak my naked desire.

persephone | sonnet twenty five

blood in my veins and arteries throb
and the unforbidden resolve thrusts
itself up my throat, killing me a hundred
times at least, before the fear of

losing you disintegrate and dissemble
in the beaten path we once called sacred;
how does a heart survive the fall, how does
it resurface after asphyxia, how can it

resemble the pure, unaltered form you sought
and held it in, when my mouth is dry
from this improbably thirst, the ache ascends

and the intensity assumes the hue of crimson lust
my nerves tremble and my muscles disappear
in a cross, a chasm, a conundrum.

persephone | sonnet twenty four

trapped inside the machinations of departure
my heart offers an alpha rhythm, only that
i am wide awake, staring blankly at
what has been lost and what was never found

a communion of spirits, our sighs and blinks
construct an inescapable archipelago of
history and familiarity, each thread
devoured by the lack of exclamation points

this is about you ~ the cause of spring and
bearer of life, this is about you and
our unspoken algebra ~ a mystery, a quest,

a delirium, a shipwreck ~ a tangle of thoughts
twisted and hidden for fear it would
slip from my hands unable to discern you.

persephone | sonnet twenty three

this moment is created to annihilate all senses,
to crush and devour all temporary madness,
to torment and beseech the anguish and fear
that come between us, now and here

ravaging the insipid color that balm you,
the moonless music that trap you, pushing
me to fall, recalling only the pain so you may
remind me of love, of longing, of the discovery

of a light that sustains itself, basking
in the air i breathe, these imperfect words
make for a heart that beats only for you

a sonnet that exists only because you
give meaning to it, only because you
fuel the imagination of a poet lost in violence.

persephone | sonnet twenty two

my memory fragmentary, the seasons and lines
create tangents only i can fathom, an impoverished,
constant war that rages between wanting you
and desiring to be who i am alone

yet the suffocating distance begs me to
see the naked, pure, simple curves that
glorify your body, fabricating dreams and
wishes, your skin and the way it feels

under my fingertips haunt and gratify
neglected senses that adore you, embracing
all atoms and particles that assemble

the beauty you always have carried,
the grace that drench your innocent, unbecoming
soul, the fire that cannot be tempered nor contained.

persephone | sonnet twenty one

lost in remembering, i would rather be in your
arms than breathe alone, the veil of your pain
hide me from the world and this senselessness
begins to corrupt what i thought could be endless

starved, the arrogant, blinding grin of the
sun shackle and stifle my own light, and
i cast a web of idle firedream to the
languishing, exhausting yearning

at last to find you finding me again,
twisting in airlessness, the slow, insipid
motion of twilight seek the bitter

kiss from my lips meant to wait in loneliness
for you, trembling, arresting the sweet, clenching
vagueness of your face in the darkness.

persephone | sonnet twenty

unable to escape the music of your silence
my heart bleeds and withers like the
first flowers you have offered when our
eyes never met, gauging the distance we have

traveled, the distance of three years and
forever, the distance of tears and laughter,
the distance of secrets and revelations,
the distance of yesterday and today

and i can hear my soul scream, aching
for your voice to manifest in my dream ~
the only place where i can find you

in this forsaken castle that now
houses only my thoughts and wishes
an all the signs that bring me you.

persephone | sonnet nineteen

the weary, desolate road that forks and breaks
into lamentable avenues of pain and solitude
marks my skin, my veins are streets and
corners that bear desire for you, are chambers

where your name echo and my hunger for your
light heightens, this life is bleak and murky
and the alleys i walk on are lonely, searching
desperately for who we once were

you were a wild fire that kept me alive,
that sustained me, that created and annihilated
me ~ and i allowed you to carve your

gaze on my flesh because i drink from
the depth of your eyes, with my hopes facing
the sun, burning and succumbing to your spell.

persephone | sonnet eighteen

scarred to breathe the air from your lips
my soul fumbles and collides with your
sacred inertia, drawn to the invisible scent
of your light where wild flowers bloom as the night

urges me to dream, clasping the sinful, soft
gaze you bear, gravity dripping, seeping, aching
with the speed of a thousand imaginary fires,
the density of us eludes me, caught in the

bosom of clashing waves unrelenting and listless,
drowning in the impatient clouds remembering
persephone’s desire to make the amaranths

come to life…seeking to get lost in the maze
of your touch, descending, hastening, battling
with the incessant gloom of midnight.

persephone | sonnet seventeen

the leaves descent poignantly on the surface
of our immaculate story, like a ritual, a dance,
like a single, deep breath taken in, like a
knife plunged to my flesh to curse

your absence, to forget the pain buried
solemnly, your skin lithe as the jasmine-scented
caress of a love that knows the shape
and contours of the body it burns

tender as the sound of your laughter,
the night folds and leaps and leans
over elements and origins and constellations

seeking fragments that once belonged to you ~
the raging, necessary, impossible, minute
syllable that abandoned my withering sorrow.

persephone | sonnet sixteen

tragedy dispelled amongst caves and ruins
agitated to hasten the fall into a chasm
of fleeting, temporary havoc
that resonate in our sleep, that fumble

in the trembling surface of an unbidden
fruit that crave my mouth, i descend
slowly and without remorse to the
splendor of long, narrow nights

chasing your umbra, more than a celestial
marvel that gather stones of quiet and
patience, you are an infinite delight

that move swiftly across my mind,
that burden me with despair and darkness,
that make of these arms one empty embrace.

persephone | sonnet fifteen

discerning and dismantling the inevitable pain
congruent to the deafening pandemonium of
this universe and of this soul loathing the
circumstances that gave me you

but how do the secrets escape the jaded
reflection of you and me, without measures,
without confines or traces that resonate
the bitter yearning to call you my own

when a gaze sets everything on fire, even
when our eyes do not meet, writhing and hiding
beneath the massive, staggering design of

your hands, stuttering as I lay in awe of
the forgetful, deceiving stretch of memory that
captures nothing of that which is divine.

persephone | sonnet fourteen

the days and nights endure being haunted
by a flame that thrives slowly in the
incandescent shadow your body makes
in the silence, in the mystery of things

to come ~ in the perpetual unraveling of
the unknown, the secrets heaved clandestinely
under stars and clouds and comets that
lurk in the darkness, of majestic, celestial

beings t hat deceive my eyes, closer, nothing
remains, just the smoke and vagueness
of our fears and the clarity of muted

desires burning, consuming, colliding,
carving itself upon the tangible thoughts laced
with ripples of this unending fall.

persephone | sonnet thirteen

the sky offers the depth and breadth
of a sun untarnished by haze or orange rays
gazing straight at my eyes, searching, meaning
to find something on an empty alley

and as the night diminishes and eats
the memories we have given birth to
i struggle to catch the air with my
hands bared and scarred

by your absence ~ it sinks, stings, stifles
every living particle that creates me, every
inch of skin, flesh and bones that ache only

for sunrises hummed by your eyes,
for flowers that manifest on the corners
of your heart, beating, dancing peacefully.

persephone | sonnet twelve

before smoke obscure the silence of this
savage heart let the rain of flamed
amaranths wash upon this night of mist
and blackness, singing an ode to your

endless shadow flawed by the
heedless need to form water and air
with the energy of a thousand sun-blazen
stares that come from you and your

aureate, unmarred autumn ~ uncover the
fragrance of days when you held
me close to listen to everything beat

rapidly, to witness each ounce of restlessness
that has taken my body hostage disperse
in the glowing, bleeding sky of madness.

persephone | sonnet eleven

the ache of this heart drowns the serenade
murmured by the incandescent midnight
haze rain against the periwinkle horizon,
the clouds drift and shift amidst

dreamless lovers walking the street fastened
by the scent of forgotten embraces, humid,
sweeping whispers burn my eyes with tears
i grieve the days afflicted by a disease

i call loneliness, following, tracing the steps
you leave upon heaves and piles of leaves
on the ground, shrouded by soundlessness

awaiting the delicate sun to parch beginnings
and ends once more, over and over, again and
again until it holds no recollection of pain.

persephone | sonnet ten

pierced by the magnetic, gleaming air
you breathe, devoured by the depth
that anchor my halo to your terrain,
while the polar shifts and the axes

fasten the metallic scent of your
body to mine, entangled to the
tides of emptiness, borne of vastness and
warmth, desire and destiny

chained to the melancholic machineries
of your touch and veins, delicate
and intricate mornings undaunted

by shaded rocks, colliding galaxies
hunting for impatient shadows
humming in oblivion.

persephone | sonnet nine

she played an air on the piano
striking the keys with ardor and
thoughtful passion, relentless,
unswerving, obliterating

the sharp resonances that bring
me to dark, senseless nights
alone and powerless to stop
the racing heart left to fade

awaiting the thundering sound
of your familiar hands, the slender
fingers that caress me within

and without, the light in your eyelids
like the flesh that throbs and aches,
drown the isles that yearn for you.

persephone | sonnet eight

just before the dawn awakens all but
a few words here and between my
fingers, the night lashes and curses
the seductive glow of mourning

the motions that permeate the
earth sullen and impetuous
daring the quiet atoms of your denial
elemental and unadorned

do not desist, my lost enchantress
and allow the ember of my tears
fill and rapture the well,

carve myself out of your furtive longing
excise laughter from my bones
and bury my forsaken madness.

persephone | sonnet seven

the clouds heaved a sigh, the sound of
sheer alacrity, the hours spin to form
the rain of your delight, to drench
my fumbling ideas and the flint of

my words ~ let me walk through
the sleeping circles, let me forget
the blood of my desolation
let me drown in the pure sadness of your eyes

and as the soil wither and erode
like my heart parched by yellow sunbursts
the stars hover above, pulsating, slowly

diminishing into endless flames, disguised
as trembling flowers envious of your smile,
the ancient, faultless language of our souls.

my life according to tori amos

i found the questions on facebook and decided to answer them.


Pick your artist:
Tori Amos

Are you a male of female:
Strange little girl

Describe yourself:
Abnormally attracted to sin

How do you feel:
Not dying today

Describe where you currently live:
Every part of you

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Dark side of the sun

Your favorite form of transportation:
Cars and guitars

Your best friend:
Sister named desire

You and your best friend are:
Marlene Dietrich’s favorite poem

What’s the weather like:
Raining blood

Favorite time of the day:
When sunny gets blue

If your life was a TV show what would it be called?
Heart attack at 23

What is life to you:
A sorta fairytale

Your relationship:
Sweet the sting

Your fear:
Ghosts and spooks and maybe you

What is the best advice you have to give:
It might hurt a bit

Thought for the day:
Assholes are cheap today

My motto:
Enjoy the silence

persephone | sonnet six

reaching for the sunlight in your absent gaze
shards of your shadow falling victim to the mute echo
rising in my head and seeping into
my thoughts that carry no other voice

empyrean of frailties and vulnerabilities
i arm myself with the fleeting, tangible pain
so i can bring you closer to a spring in october
then watch the amaranths take shape in your

burdened eyes, with my sanctified embrace
take you away from the caves that darken your
memories of us, of this, of me

emerging from the vague depths of your mouth
escaping your lips until the sound dissolves
into the fragrance of my own name.

persephone | sonnet five

the moon spun from her eyes like mirrorball
in the dense, broad, cathartic luminescence
of my tangled thoughts i catch her fervid
stares one by one, fiber by fiber

and allow, with my hands, to breathe and exalt
each fading memory, every unjaded molecule
that sings to her, as her wings open to caress
the wind caught in the dimmest angle of daylight

these words forlorn in the unraveling of seconds
destined to be ignited by a lonely passion,
a desolate rage, a final cause

to die at last in your arms, in your air and in your glances
to beg and to suffer sweetly, willfully,
ardently tasting the fractures of your stone.

persephone | sonnet four

hymn the silence our of her pursed desperate lips
the shaded night enveloped by glass wanting a clear view
of this profound, denied yearning of the landscapes that once
belonged to you, a nymph, a goddess

trudging the ice thin layer of my understanding, battling my foe
that is ~ the blinding sun of my desire
enraged in the noiselessness of the war that
began in your waking dream

how do i shut my ears from hearing the siren
how do i shut my eyes from seeing the forbidden
ecstasy of your leaping, laborious languor

perhaps the bodiless angst of my scorching, burning, flaming
self will endure one harrowing breath
for an unobstructed sense of you.

persephone | sonnet three

to be taken, ravaged, devoured
then to be divided by my desire to
love you ever more and dwell in the
passionate flower your dews give life to

chained to the night of magic and
fireworks, weaving your words onto the
bow of my violin, slowly, painfully caressed
by your sensual, unforgiving smile

my soul nurtured by your hands,
the twilight blossoming before my very
eyes ~ crowded with an imagined beauty

leaning, longing, awaiting the rain to
drench me, inebriate me, as I head to
slumber remembering the shape of your face.

persephone | sonnet two

for once i will allow your earth to take
my happiness away, to lock it up and throw the keys
to oblivion, for i have come upon the truth
that my delight is in making you feel

needed, wanted, yearned for and dreamed about
in nights that languish with despair
in moments that perish in the remembrance
of your calm, unchanging voice

the ceaseless, unwavering fancy of hopes that
spring from your endlessness, from the endlessness
of what we have and what we still will

have ~ the night wanders with faith
and belief in the promises that last,
in days that evolve into eden.

persephone | sonnet one

leaves descend upon the arid nothingness of
forgotten embraces, haunted only by the faint
memory of your eyes withdrawn from all
that makes sense, this earth waiting for

an apparition, a ghost, a phantom
a sharp remembrance of sweetness,
like the timid succulence of cherries
at dawn, like the fleeting tenderness of your

hands that move me like no one else can
like no one else will be permitted to
rushing the autumn to disappear into

a pallid, tormented sheathe of paper that
breaks and distorts itself through time
lingering for you.

today

Today I will begin. Today I will take the beaten path and call it sacred. Today I will hymn love holy. Today is only the start of something more enlightening, more uplifting, and I will bask in its light. Today I will remember myself. Today I will create more dreams and make them come true. Today I will say I love you because I always have and always will. Today I will believe that such love is as real and honest and tangible as it could get. Today I will continue to hope.



Today I will stop for a moment to look at the seconds we lost to piercing stares and pointless arguments. Today I will stop for a moment to relish all the nights we spent in each other’s arms building memories, delighting our senses with the air that carries the scent of our bodies after making love. Today I will stop for a second to praise Him for giving you to me. Today I will stop for a second to be grateful for all that I have learned and felt and known the last three years.

But…

Today I will promise to love you silently until I am void of the need for you. Today I will wait for the sunlight to touch my skin. Today I will look at the avenues I once travelled with you and reach for myself, instead of your hand. Today I will appreciate each moment I was able to call you my own, each moment we lost to piercing stares and pointless arguments, each moment I spent resting in your arms and know that I will always carry the memories within…

And finally understand the truth that I do not have to wait for anything or anyone to tell me when to begin.

 

anais nin

and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

t.s. eliot

i should have been a pair of ragged claws.

frida kahlo

i hope the exit is joyful and i hope never to return.