obsession posted by imani , Sunday, May 23, 2010 at 1:46 PM, in Labels: ars poetica

occupied by the frantic, listless movement
of starry, delicate, changeless moments
from whence this obsession emerges ~
a fragile stone lies still in your shore

awaiting the drunken, infatuated embrace
of your flesh, woman that defy ends
and endlessness, a savior, a discoverer
of things hidden, a traveler who

has journeyed through my sorrows and
into my hallowed hysteria
my faith suspended mid-air, with my

muscles twisting for a departure, a liberation
seeking the sacred ground of perfumed tears,
hours revolving upon the axis of your illusions.

shots of fun posted by imani , Sunday, May 9, 2010 at 7:22 PM, in Labels: freefall

what my bonding time with my partner-in-crime resulted to.
let's hang out soon, love!

narcissistic posted by imani , at 2:21 PM, in Labels: ars poetica

i offer you this, a flower that blossoms,
hiding in your own reflection, a ray that is
deceived by its own brightness, captivated
by its misery and solitude,

i lift my branches and extend my roots,
aching for the ravaging, arresting tyrant
found in our blood as we burn together
inside our bones we confront our

death, fading helplessly, heedlessly on
passionate tears that circle
my veins, liquid rising, mercury falling

narrowly escaping a breathless delirium
all i have are words that blur and
define a thought ~ mirroring your pain.


written 08 may 2010

of lilies and serendipities | part four posted by imani , at 2:08 PM, in Labels: freefall

Parts and bits and pieces and shards and crumbs and fragments and specks and traces of what we are, what we used to be, of what we could be, what we hope to be. I have stopped. I have ceased doubting the reasons I am here, doubting the reasons you are with me. I have pushed myself to the edge and end of what all of this could be, because there really isn’t any other way to go. I woke up tonight and the first thought that sprung from my mind was you. How long do you intend to this to me? You are a mystery I wish to unravel, a detail I cannot seem to forego, and thus have become a memory I can and cannot exist without. But more than my peace being broken, I am inexplicably happy. I have uttered these words before and I want to tell you about them now – that I shall be with you, I will remain with you as long as you feel the need of having me in your life. Let me take this, take you, let us allow this moment to take us as far and as long as it could in this road. And even when the streets and pavements break and fork to keep you and I apart, I promise not to regret anything. You are all that this present moment holds for me, and you have been an unexpected gift. And I couldn’t be any more blessed. I cannot allow for what will happen to crush and extinguish the seconds I held you and felt that you belonged to me. So in return I offer this night, this dream, this breath, this yearning to you ~ and I hope you find it in your heart to believe I wouldn’t feel now if not for you.

of lilies and serendipities | part three posted by imani , Friday, May 7, 2010 at 8:19 PM, in Labels: freefall

This corner inhabits a part of my memory, for in this space I shall begin to wonder about all those nights I allowed to pass without telling you just how much. You inhabit the soul and purpose of these thoughts. The last few days have taught me how I can and shall never be empty, because you are there to fill the void that shattered me. When the shadow of the moon has died and waned, the hope of sharing sunrises and sunsets with you never escaped. You are the life that pulsates in my daylight, the blood that rushes through my veins. You are all that crowds my infinite universe, not only because I have permitted you to, but because you have given birth to a star, with the magic and energy your eyes give out, because the thought of you makes the cistern overflow and pushes this poet to write about happiness, passion, hope, courage and love.

all i have posted by imani , at 8:16 PM, in Labels: freefall

are words that blur and define a thought.

of lilies and serendipities | part two posted by imani , Monday, May 3, 2010 at 3:29 AM, in Labels: freefall

Punctuations.

comma | colon | period | ellipsis

Smoke leaves my pursed lips and I gather air from the single, solitary memory I have of you sleeping softly in my arms, the night enveloped with mystery and familiarity of you…the one I adore, the one my heart longs for, the one these hands ache to nurture. Twilight descends painfully, urging my eyes to close and to rest, but I feel and know I must write this song out, to hymn your face, your being, to exalt your laughter and the sound of your sigh, to bless the days and months I have held the muted beating of this love so free, creating and ending a story that begins with you and me.

i feel like... posted by imani , at 3:14 AM, in Labels: freefall

getting inked again. this will be the nth time i will have to pay someone to give me pain. ain't that grand. i was just looking for designs i'd want to put on my right ribcage and found a couple of them:

hmmm...i have to think. and i have to think fast.

of lilies and serendipities | part one posted by imani , Saturday, May 1, 2010 at 11:54 AM, in Labels: freefall

This isn't the last letter nor the last thoughts that would have you in it.

This is only the beginning.

My hands are shaking - because of sleeplessness, because of caffeine, because of nicotine, because of you...or the lack thereof.

My notions are incensed by one light, humbled by one soul - yours. The wind caressing my shoulders, the occasional sunlight that touches my scarred spirit are halted by the stares and breaths we shared.

I am so scared of being happy. Heal me.

i am sorry i have been too happy posted by imani , at 7:40 AM, in Labels: freefall

i woke up this morning with a b*tch of a headache...and 'remembered' that i have been keeping myself preoccupied the last couple of days - and with preoccupied i meant talking to, drinking and going around with monette.

tonight is the third night i am finding myself tucked away in my unexpected refuge. and it does feel nice - to be here and keep the company of people i have known a long time. initially, i was planning to stay 'here' all by myself but realized that tagging someone along wouldn't hurt at all.

i haven't exactly been very responsible - i know i haven't written anything in a while and i am sorry. and just so that your expectations are well managed, usually the dry spell (pertains to my inability to write) is caused by one of two things (or both...): i am too happy or i feel numb. in this case, i am too happy. believe it or not. well i cannot believe it myself. i am in that stage where i realized life just has so much to offer so i took that leap of faith and i am trusting that life is meaning to teach me something.

so this post is my attempt to invite you into my world, or what has been happening in my life and what i can remember of the last three days.

day one:

• got to my refuge around 6:00 in the evening. had to brave the rain that swept through pasay and makati to get myself here. along the way i asked monette if she would like to meet and i receiver a message that said: 'i am free!'
  
• waited for monette and decided to get ourselves a bottle of tanduay ice - the first night wouldn't have been as enjoyable if not for a great conversation and the aid of alcohol.
• see, this experience makes me feel like i am going back to the basics. and with basics i meant feeling like a caveman. when we got hungry, we decided to leave the room and headed downstairs to hunt for food. monette and i found ourselves in ziggurat, a lovely, quaint restaurant sitting between tigris and euphrates streets. we had shish beef kebabs and indian rice - i am a sucker for persian food. dinner was surprisingly filling. i like culinary adventures and am glad that i shared that moment with monette.
• before heading back to our room, we decided to get ourselves them bottles of tanduay ice and replenish our cigarette supplies.
  
• don't ask me about what happened to my lungs.

day two:

• monette stayed the night. she decided not to show up (sorry i am being too cryptic here, but i will be crucified upside down should i ever mention it here.) and we headed to greenbelt where we had lunch at pancake house then got ourselves two tall cups of iced mocha.
  
• we went around glorietta and greenbelt - for what else?! - books! we ended up buying VCDs and that's just weird. wehehe.
• went back to the room around 3 pm and decided to watch the videos we bought. i still had to go to work that night due to the lack of coverage which was a total bummer but hey - for the love of God and everything that is holy and for the sake of avoiding having to butt heads with my superior, i went to work.
• i was at work a total of four hours and was able to accomplish all that needed to be done. my aim was to go 'honda' (in other words - leave the office on the dot) but was unsuccessful. i came back around 1:45 am with my best friend watching a cooking show on discovery travel and living.
• had a psuedo dinner at jolibee - i didn't eat anything before coming to work so i had to feed my pets (my tummy...or the creatures in my tummy if there are any).
• went to handle bar and had a good time. we didn't go there to be handled any other way though. i just want to be clear about that. ahahah.
• tried cerveza negra for the first time and just like what monette said - it has this distinct aftertaste - it left in my mouth the taste of black coffee. and i thought to myself - isn't this the grandest thing - i can consume two of my choice of poison in one drink.
• we headed back to our room and saw the movie 'memoirs of a geisha' again. which made us both want to re-read the book. and made me relive the moments i wanted ken watanabe all to myself.
  

day three:

• monette left me in the morning to do some stuff at work. boo to you monette - for being a slave to your work. wait...who am i to talk anyway!?
• got up 11:30 am, without any recollection of what i told monette before she left for work. she then reminded me that i mumbled: 'okay, text me' twice. and even when she has recounted the story, i still do not remember anything.
• i picked her up from her office in paseo de roxas and went straight to aveneto.
• she ordered a bowl of meatball parmigiana for me and chicken pesto for her. lunch actually felt like my 'last supper.' ahahah
• went to starbucks in greenbelt 1 to cool the heat off with a glass of iced mocha and talked about our lives (and loves and lusts...or at least the things we lust for and lust about) over coffee and cigarettes.
• monette had to go home get herself some clothes and i had to go back here. i waited for the other leg of the triangle to complete the bonding session - ron!!!
  
• prepared an 'odd' but highly effective concoction for ron and monette - composed of yakult (and all the lactobacillus shirota strain in it), pineapple flavored fit 'n right and GSM blue. odd, odd combination - you have live lactobacillus which they say is good for the tummy, you have pineapple juice and don't we all know what good it is supposed to give us...but then you add a bottle of gin - which kills brain cells and damages the liver. don't ask me where i got the idea.
• monette just stepped in (at around 11:22 pm) and we are well on our way to being or getting subdued...if not wasted.
• this night offers a lot - a chance to catch up, a chance to lament over things that hurt us, a chance to realize all the good that has happened and all the dreams we can still fulfill...and above all...a chance to seize the moment and enjoy life.

over and out...for now.