your light unravels,
unbridled and unchanged
haunt the darkness in the distance,
drowned by the staccato of
the falling rain, fallen, arrested,
broken, you shed your intimate
stars only to find them
sheltered by these hands
that long, yearn, live and
breathe for the motion of
syllables that fumble and falter
from your lips, they are universes
that plummet in sudden blackholes
perishing in your sad reflection.
akap
bagamat hapo ang katawan bunga ng ilang oras na paglalakbay, ang diwa ko ay sadyang ayaw mapagod. iniisip ka, sa saglit na ito ~ nagpapasalamat, nagdarasal, tumatangis. umaasang darating ang panahon na mamumulat ka at mahihimbing sa tabi ko. nangangarap na lumagi sa piling mo, na huwag kailanman malayo sa iyo, mahal ko.sa pagkakataong ito, dinaig ko ang sarili kong kakayanan para umibig at magparaya. hindi lubos maisip na ilang buwan lamang ang nakararaan ay sapat na sa aking makita ka at makausap ka ng ilang sandali. ang mga bagay na iyon ay sapat pa rin, ngunit ang pinakamalaking surpresa sa lahat ay ang bigyan mo ako ng panahon, ang pag-ukulan mo ako ng pagmamahal, ang handugan mo ako ng mga pangarap.
kaya naman hindi ako kailan pa man titigil sa pasasalamat ~ sa Maykapal at sa iyo, ang pinakamamahal ko. dahil ikaw ang bunga, ang rason, ang lunas, ang sanhi ng ligayang walang hanggan.
passion
petals wilt and wither
thirsting for rain, the kind
that your eyes delicately
gives away, a requiem
of souls lost in the cadence
of a heartbeat, of a lightning
bold, the leaves of grass
i have bound in your name
the things that remained sacred,
beyond death, beyond doubt,
beyond the listlessness of this heart
clouds that gather fury
for not having you drench
my skies with an impossibility.
thirsting for rain, the kind
that your eyes delicately
gives away, a requiem
of souls lost in the cadence
of a heartbeat, of a lightning
bold, the leaves of grass
i have bound in your name
the things that remained sacred,
beyond death, beyond doubt,
beyond the listlessness of this heart
clouds that gather fury
for not having you drench
my skies with an impossibility.
burn
the sharp edges of my thoughts
exist in a corner, drenched
by your struggle to find
a latitude, the hours that
recede only to be caught in
a tangle of misery, summoning
the delirium, the sound
of your name emits
loneliness permeates through
walls and illusions sink
on my skin violated
by a throbbing, irreversible
havoc your perverse affection have
caused this soul void of answers.
fragile
the fragile threads that wrap
your nakedness weave the light
to your agile and delicate body,
tying the ends to timelessness
your eyes the color of amber,
careful yet intent, words spoken
softly send you to slumber
where you rest in my arms
quietly, gracefully, and all
i can remember are nights
imbued with dreams and wishes
holding us both in stillness
as i wait for the moon to drown
the strands that caress you.
your nakedness weave the light
to your agile and delicate body,
tying the ends to timelessness
your eyes the color of amber,
careful yet intent, words spoken
softly send you to slumber
where you rest in my arms
quietly, gracefully, and all
i can remember are nights
imbued with dreams and wishes
holding us both in stillness
as i wait for the moon to drown
the strands that caress you.
touch
the lavender scent of your voice
that seeks without seeing, finding
its way through the darkness,
a sudden, inexplicable rush
of blood through my veins,
i rouse like a rhythm lost in
twilight, defied and defeated
by hands that travel this
familiar territory, our moans
that leave this room dense
and solemn, catching a fire
that ascends, transcends and provokes
the yearning that carve and bruise
a battle i have surrendered to you.
that seeks without seeing, finding
its way through the darkness,
a sudden, inexplicable rush
of blood through my veins,
i rouse like a rhythm lost in
twilight, defied and defeated
by hands that travel this
familiar territory, our moans
that leave this room dense
and solemn, catching a fire
that ascends, transcends and provokes
the yearning that carve and bruise
a battle i have surrendered to you.
shore
the timid, tingling feeling
that glides down my spine,
like intricate, minute
particles, almost invisible
fabricate nights and dawns
bound by ardor, clamoring
for moments that carry your
sigh to my mouth, my soul
to yours, the rain shroud
what would be my naked desire
like water, slowly soaking
the arid space that
is my body, recalling nothing
save the beat of your furtive heart.
that glides down my spine,
like intricate, minute
particles, almost invisible
fabricate nights and dawns
bound by ardor, clamoring
for moments that carry your
sigh to my mouth, my soul
to yours, the rain shroud
what would be my naked desire
like water, slowly soaking
the arid space that
is my body, recalling nothing
save the beat of your furtive heart.
in the darkness
even as i write this in the darkness i know exactly what to talk about. i remember vividly how the trace of your smile lingers even when i am not able to see it ~ when you steal seconds looking at me seeking the other way, when your hands discern the feel of my skin when we make love, when your body is close to mine as we head to bed.
even in the darkness my heart knows the tangents and spaces of your eyes and your lips, and have memorized your stares like i was born with it, basking in it. my soul has been blessed with the delight of your kisses ~ like the ones you give me when i am soundly asleep.
i tell myself sometimes, that i cannot wait for a lifetime with you, but time and time again have found my resolve to simply be content with each day i am with you, with each day you give me, because after all ~ that is still a sweet, perennial thought to allow me to start every day with ceaseless desire to crave and yearn for you, to be loved and needed by you. i love you, as ever.
shadow
that lurk and fall behind the
veil of faults and disbelief
crave the blushing, spinning
desire, a light brighter than
the sun that revolves without
caution or hesitation,
darkness travels faster than
soundlessness, the pandemonium
heavier with each breath you
take, the tears that bathe
these words meant only
for a ceaseless, relentless
soul that suffer in silence
haunted by your eyes.
dawn
the night is always darkest just
before dawn, so let me cast all
the piercing stares and pointless
arguments from whence
the gaping void between
what is left of us emerged,
a line that breaks, a sigh halted,
a pure abstract that resemble
my heart, let me go back
to endless beginnings and
deaths that resurrect
all the good i know, unaltered,
unchanged, unmasked, your stares
that make the flowers unravel.
destiny
denied of life, of a sigh, of
a breath, of a sign to go on
and with shut eyes follow
the roads that break
only to show me what of
pain i do not know,
a heart that remains naive
of the secrets you keep
of the lies buried deep,
of stones i turn to reveal
what a sad, pathetic mess
we have made, after all
these hands are meant to
fulfill a destiny of failure.
hurt
a descendant of pain that gnaws
on my soul, a deathless raven
drawn to the cruel sight of
your grin, these hands ache
for the burning, lashing breath
you took when you forced yourself
to forget the thirst murmured
by this poet lost in desperation
violated by the nagging voices
that echo, the conundrum that
breaks the dreary, heavy silence
carrying your footfall and
the tangents of your shadow,
i pray i could forgive.
you and me
allow me to do this. before i head to slumber, before i close my eyes as the light of day fades, before i surrender the last, painful vision i had of you ~ when you were walking away from where i was standing ~ and give it up for the sake of the peace and silence of my thoughts.
and even when that was one of the most agonizing moments i have ever been in ~ i would take it, put myself through it, if it means discerning how much love i have for you. and most importantly, if it means taking that train ride, that journey with you every single day.
i have always believed that everything we encounter is a metaphor to a life we could or we might lead. that sooner or later, fate would unveil what role these encounters or experiences play in the grand scheme of things.
the road toward you was long and the pavement was covered with broken glass and thorns. but let me tell you that there has never been a day i looked back to the last three months of my life with regret or sadness. i am glad i chose to walk on the path that led me to you because i disproved my own feelings of being inadequate or being temporary. it taught me one thing: the reality of how much more i can offer. and i can and I am willing to give so much more than what both my hands can contain at a single moment ~ and if there will ever be a time i would lose sight of myself, i want to find you there, aching to hold me close to tell me that you would want to help me rediscover the things i am passionate about, that you would want to be there to witness how i’d renew my faith in us, in you, in all that we have been through, in the things that remain intangible but keep in flourishing because we both have poured so much of who we are to what we have.
as i have said once, i know that this is not about doing what would please others, it is about going after what we want because we understand that we begin to die the very second we start denying ourselves the chance to be happy. you said that the most important thing is you and me. and somehow that gives me comfort. knowing that i am wanted and needed by the same person i want to give all my life to. i couldn’t have been luckier, i couldn’t have been more fortunate. there was never a day i did not stop for a moment to thank Him for entrusting you to me. i did pray for this, i did pray for you ~ that if you needed something to believe in, i hope He would allow me to show you that some things do last, if we do not doubt the cause, the reason why you and i are here now.
and the reason is because we were searching for meaning and found each other. thank you for each day you give me. i love you as ever.
para sa iyo
kung sakaling muling malilingat ang iyong diwa,
kung sakaling muling magigising mula sa pagkahimbing,
alalahanin, isipin, damhin
ang katotohanan
na hindi kailanman muling
magluluksa,
mag-iisa,
mawawalan ng kapiling
sapagkat narito ang kamay ko
nag-aabang na hawakan mo
at narito ako
para magpatotoo na
walang hanggan ang sampalataya
sa pagmamahal mo.
kung sakaling muling magigising mula sa pagkahimbing,
alalahanin, isipin, damhin
ang katotohanan
na hindi kailanman muling
magluluksa,
mag-iisa,
mawawalan ng kapiling
sapagkat narito ang kamay ko
nag-aabang na hawakan mo
at narito ako
para magpatotoo na
walang hanggan ang sampalataya
sa pagmamahal mo.
time
turns, oscillates and fumbles
to familiar, painful monologues
~ all of which now exists
only in my memory
your scent trapped in the
cadence of our scarring arguments,
of words breathed and whispered
in my slumber
waking, emerging, devouring
my thoughts when i am still
longing for the hurt
if it would mean finding you
in the darkness, if it would mean
finding us after so much has been lost.
to familiar, painful monologues
~ all of which now exists
only in my memory
your scent trapped in the
cadence of our scarring arguments,
of words breathed and whispered
in my slumber
waking, emerging, devouring
my thoughts when i am still
longing for the hurt
if it would mean finding you
in the darkness, if it would mean
finding us after so much has been lost.
anger
the fire that seethes, the
blood that surges and bathes
my soul filled with doubts and
disappointments
left with darkness, existing
in nothingness, or just the
shards and pieces left
of us, of you and me
our dissonance rapes the
silence in my head and
all the fragments rise
to dissemble and disintegrate
to fade into oblivion and
drown the unknown.
blood that surges and bathes
my soul filled with doubts and
disappointments
left with darkness, existing
in nothingness, or just the
shards and pieces left
of us, of you and me
our dissonance rapes the
silence in my head and
all the fragments rise
to dissemble and disintegrate
to fade into oblivion and
drown the unknown.
sea
circles, waves, ripples
that touch and embrace
my open and wide shore
await the net you cast
to claim me, once again,
as before, over and over,
to discern my particles
and my permanence
to help me remember the
blues and greens, the light
glistening on the surface,
that finds its way to my
chasm and fills the void,
defies the abyss.
that touch and embrace
my open and wide shore
await the net you cast
to claim me, once again,
as before, over and over,
to discern my particles
and my permanence
to help me remember the
blues and greens, the light
glistening on the surface,
that finds its way to my
chasm and fills the void,
defies the abyss.
berso sa metro ii
tulad noong disiplinadong nalunod
na binilang ang mga along sasapat para
na binilang ang mga along sasapat para
siya’y mamatay, at nagbilang, at
nagbilang muli para maiwasang magkamali
hanggang sa huling alon;
maging ang alon na singtaas ng isang
bata’t umabot sa kanyang noo,
ganyan ako nabuhay, medyo pabaya
gaya ng kabayong karton sa loob ng banyo,
alam ko na ni minsa’y di ako nagkamali,
maliban sa mga bagay na pinakamamahal ko.
maliban sa mga bagay na pinakamamahal ko.
autobiografia ~ luis rosales
berso sa metro
i have seen this a long time back. i have walked past signs and missed to read the words. i have told myself countless of times i would one day stop to read it. there may have been instances i glanced at it ~ but never really took the time to discern what it is, or what it could mean. in my universe at least.
until one day, on my way to our rendezvous, i took a good look at it and was dumbfounded on how these lines embodied exactly what i feel about you:
lahat tayo ay dadaan at lahat ay maiiwan,
pero tayo ay dadaan,
dadaang gumagawa ng daanan,
daanan sa ibabaw ng karagatan.
~antonio machado
on a night like this
tonight, like all nights, i would summon you to put all you know of love, trust and faith upon both my hands. i am imperfect, i am flawed, i am fallible. but one thing is for certain ~ that these impoverished hands would attempt anything and everything to assure you of what it feels and what it holds for you.
do not fear. do not doubt. stop your idle thoughts. let your guard down. shed all the notions that scare you about keeping this and keeping me. let me tell you that they are inconsequential. all because i choose to be here. all because i choose and need to be with you.
to love you is to count the stars that arise and even those that burst into supernovas. to love you is to touch the clouds that race in an afternoon wrapped by the warmth of the sun. to love you is to believe in things that i do not see ~ like timelessness and infiniteness. to love you is to risk the things i long have tried to preserve about myself and understand that i cannot lose.
such love and capacity for love is what i would offer you, on a night like this. it knows no bounds and it aches to embrace all that makes you ~ who you were, what you have become and all that you will ever be.
let me kiss you and hold you close. let me take your hand and tell you that you will never be without me. because this is the last time i am loving like this. and you are the person, who, at last, made me feel that i have been found.
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