eros the bittersweet

a great unraveling of endings and beginnings

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burning red


i shall begin this one differently.

you are impatient, you can be very stubborn. you are sometimes condescending, you sabotage perfect moments, 'it's fine' rarely means totally all right for you, you are confident but gets rattled when we begin arguing, you know your skills and capabilities but you keep your quiet when i ramble about literature, you have obsessive-compulsive tendencies and crazy notions

but...

i never have quite seen anyone love my family the way you do, you are one of the most thoughtful, kindest souls i have ever met, you have made me feel so valued, so significant, and you did that when i started questioning my worth, i have never seen a light as bright as yours, or a color as intense, you taught me to love myself by loving me just a bit more every single day, you have made love to and caressed my soul without touching me ~ by simply assuring me that i make you want to dream, you have given me the freedom to embrace the things (flaws and imperfections) that make me human.

i may not have been the first, or the one who has been there the longest, but i know you know i am the one who has offered as much depth as she could ~ when it comes to loving you. i cannot be anybody else but myself ~ my flailing, succumbing, thriving self ~ who cherish that which creates you, ready to hold you still when you are shaken, share a laughter with you after a long and arduous battle, willing to fight for you if it means keeping both of us breathing, this soul never will measure the distance between now and the years ahead of us, instead, it will plant seeds of good memories along the path it shares with you.

embrace

no exaggerations, no insinuations,
just the pure, unchanged
shadow each breath you take
creates, casting silhouette

on a shameless gaze
where upon touching the
breadth of your soul and
your skin permits this

delirious heart to think
it is the cause, or at least
the answer, then we both

shall lose the mystique
and forge the unforgiving,
metallic stigma of separation.

later

the flowers disintegrating, falling
the truth unroots itself
from the earth arid and parched
the sky stretches out to

a pandemonium, black, listless
clouds drown the roads that
draw from my arms the warmth
of blood and flesh

an ancient despair takes its
refuge in the prism of a
delight i cannot claim

hence i devour solitude and
nourish my faith with the
hope i can be.

intimate

your eyes stare into the night’s
long, arduous languor
gently seeking the fragrance
of an embrace once halted

by absence, still in the
haunted twilight i wander and
thirst for a familiar name ~
a sound, an echo, a voice

a delicate and elusive flower
that buds and forgets the
tree it fell from

chasing the bright trace
of skin that define an architecture ~
the wonder of an unaltered you.

depend

infinities found in nothingness
spaces built upon spaces
the halt in your breath
disintegrates and necessitates

a sense of loss, desperation
and desolation fall on
angles and degrees of
blackness, these hands

grow blind without a certain
light, descending, ending,
hesitating, the nights are

now void of color, or was
it your shadow i heard,
your footfall that diminish as you move closer.

linger

you are a naiad, a creature that
thrives only in my imagination,
the bearer of light and darkness,
the shadow of twilight and alabaster

a shape cast by the mid-day sun,
the fierce heat that leave petals
disheveled, the thought that
mangles the still innocence of water

call upon me, my goddess, so i may
praise and exalt your form, so i
may hymn the language of your

soul, and drown in the silence
of your eyes, resurrect the
stares that deceive shared synapses.

loneliness

from your fullness sprung a
naive, gentle woman
whose eyes are shut from
your evil, whose lips cannot

speak of your insanity,
whose thoughts are ravaged,
deserted, spoiled
whose soul seeks neither

compassion nor compromise
her fantasies elude her,
judging from one, sharp

breath she takes in so you
may have fire and splendor to
spare on atoms built upon beliefs.

glance

perfect or imperfect, still or
restless, there are truths
that do not perish, as there
are nights that do not end

i have come to live on
one furtive, fleeting glance
with solitude begging for
another beginning, a chance,

an onset, a possibility
of finding all that remains
after years and years of ruin

and wretchedness, when all
things lie in the mercy of your hands
barren, empty, cold.

passion

the sadness wraps this body
bare of memories, its veins and
bones exist without a sound
the rain has just fallen,

trespassed the sanctity of this
permutated soul, the light
elevates and escalates until
everything is shapeless

until everything is kindled
by one taunted, delirious
fight that rescues the

dawn from ever being consumed,
racing to the naked, unarmored
embrace i call you.

swan

your light unravels,
unbridled and unchanged
haunt the darkness in the distance,
drowned by the staccato of

the falling rain, fallen, arrested,
broken, you shed your intimate
stars only to find them
sheltered by these hands

that long, yearn, live and
breathe for the motion of
syllables that fumble and falter

from your lips, they are universes
that plummet in sudden blackholes
perishing in your sad reflection.
 

anais nin

and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

t.s. eliot

i should have been a pair of ragged claws.

frida kahlo

i hope the exit is joyful and i hope never to return.