eros the bittersweet

a great unraveling of endings and beginnings

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we will always find a way


to meet in the middle. to talk about just anything under the sun. to be with each other. to listen to one another. to spend hours staring at each other. to smile with each other. to revive our dreams everyday. to want nothing but what we have. to be grateful for each day we are loving. to feel blessed to be where we are. to desire no one else. to renew our faith. to know that what we have is unending. to fight for the great love that we share. to be each other's lifetime. to be the greatest love we will ever know.

synapses | sonnet thirty five

my soul is not about to shut the
symphony of what makes us, and a
frame holds in the midst of it a staggering,
stuttering, smoldering intimacy,

a collapse of walls and logic, i follow
your voice, opening the sanctity
of all unknown mornings, drifting into
your arms, my lifetime, blood of

my blood, fire, passion, red, adoration
~ a few unembossed, untexted notions
that keep running in my head

burning fields, catching the insufferable
light of your love, of the infinite breaths
we have given and taken as we remain.

synapses | sonnet thirty four

and i find myself painting the naked
night with stars that hang low, fighting
the glare of a rebelling darkness so
i may continue seeing your face,

and the meaning it holds, when,
little by little, piece by piece, we harbor
lights that crowd our tendencies
to de-create and re-create mute,

imperfect, glorious moments
we held each other as if the world
stood still and time vanished

along with traces, roots, windows
and prisms, seeking only the rhetoric
of dreams and languages, of shapes and origins.

synapses | sonnet thirty three

the day will dawn when all that
would emerge from the darkness
is my light and my love
aching to be chastised to

your midnight sky, anchoring
the stars to an immense and
eternal shadow, a
desolate drop of patient stones

carrying within the hope
of being taken by your gaze
and the gentleness of your hands

gravitating between your soul
and its undeniable beauty,
drawn to blossoms of your laughter.

synapses | sonnet thirty two

battling the sudden, undeniable fire,
seeking the energy of your gaze
blanketing what i know of this life,
under the sweltering heat of the

midday sun, like the music of a
sonnet you cannot escape, i urge
the clouds to shroud my heart
with memories of you and i,

now until the end that i do not see,
now until never, now until time
understands no other reason

but us, humbled by the sweeping,
inevitable faith for the one
who keeps my embraces and glances.

synapses | sonnet thirty one

the marvelous yellow sun
diminished by the elusive gaze
you give away, a haunting,
unattained, delusional image

that create stillness out of
my relentless shadows, leading me
to paths that take the form
of your hands and your veins,

gathering the stones on roads
we walk upon to save the
mythology and sanctity

of how we began, how we came
to be, how we will survive,
how we will need just one another.

synapses | sonnet thirty

summoning the dense midnight air
to wrap your body in its splendor,
my eyes beg for the sight of your
face, the sense of your naked skin,

my loneliness spiraling to a
delirious and intimate want,
or need, to be with the hands
that crave the passionate embrace

of clouds and sunrises,
arguing with the vagueness
of emptiness, emptier still,

lacking the laughter that
resonate in your voice, i lie
waiting, hoping, loving.

synapses | sonnet twenty nine

an ardent soldier who prays you
choose your weapons wisely,
and even if you have not, i
already have lost this battle,

death leans and laughs over my
labor and languor, i await your
voice to pierce and revive
the tangled web we weave,

to resurrect what i deem a kind
of demise, i will let you be, and
give you your peace, as i

always have and yearned to
do, but let me take the stars and
pluck each one like a dream to offer you.

synapses | sonnet twenty eight

and so the sighs we’ve let out
a thousand times shaped the
moments we have started claiming,
the light stabs the darkness

like ink on paper, releasing
delusions we’ve held and kept,
sonnets written in secrecy, awaiting
nothing but the perfect time

to show them to you, but emptiness
expels its own fruit ~ the wisdom
and sense of being with you

then without you, wounding
cold, relentless, unforgiving
mornings i uttered your name to no end.

synapses | sonnet twenty seven

this heart take the bruises from
loving you too hard, and neglects
the idea that it is illogical,
when the waters inscribe you

entirely and lets your soul
levitate, aching without bounds,
the air becomes my witness as
eras hasten to shards of

light and murmurs of loss
sink the economy of unblemished
laughter and stares

seeking your synapses, your
blessing, your naked hands,
reaching out to touch me.
 

anais nin

and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

t.s. eliot

i should have been a pair of ragged claws.

frida kahlo

i hope the exit is joyful and i hope never to return.