what not to expect...ever posted by imani , Monday, December 22, 2008 at 10:02 AM, in Labels: imani's 'best list'

i think i am in a position where i know i am utterly capable of listing down 10 things that i should not have expected when i came back to work - after a ten-day leave.

1. that the first day at work would actually sound like the overture from the sound of music - that out of weird coincidence, julie andrews will appear on my monitor, spread her arms and sing: 'the hills are aliiiiiiiiive, with the sound of muuuuussssic...'


2. that there won't be over a thousand emails from my inbox alone, not to mention that both my managers and eight of our supervisors have their own folders. geesh.


3. that i won't have to induce myself to a coma by having to read and understand all the emails that require my understanding in less than two hours.


4. that the reports that i am solely responsible for will miraculously write and create themselves and send themselves out - complete with the accurate distribution list.


5. that i would not need more than the songs loaded on my mp3 player to keep me sane.


6. that i won't be expected to go back to work and act as if i took the hiatus so that i can prepare myself for an even crazier workload.


7. that my body would inevitably go out of sync...meaning i would have to 're-learn' sleeping at noon and keeping myself wide awake at night.


8. that flowers will be offered to me...that i will find them sitting pretty on my pod.


9. that i would find the idea of marilyn manson at 4 in the morning helpful. (it beats me - the thought of him suddenly sprung from my consciousness - or unconsciousness - while i was reading through an end of day report for one of our services).


10. that i won't bleed and i can wing it. apparently this technique of mine ('winging it') was worthless this time.

so there. sometime this week i wanted to pound my head against the fire extinguisher behind me for deciding to take my vacation leave this time of the year. too late for that, i think.