No I am not to talk about the critically-acclaimed TV series. I intend to talk about myself – which I know can be annoying to some people but I don’t really care. I have a feeling I am getting really good at yapping about me and my ups and downs. My life is not exactly critically-acclaimed but it's the only one I've got. So...TIMBER!
Have you ever experienced waking up in the morning and just feeling so lost – so lost that you don’t remember what happened the day before and you have no clear idea of what to do with your life when you opened your eyes?
I am in that limbo right now. Except that I do know what occurred the day before. And it was yesterday when I started feeling lost again.
Lost in a sense that I am blinded by both light and darkness. I know. Another heavy thing to comprehend and write about at 3:45 in the morning.
I don’t know. There was this weird feeling that worked its way up from my spine to my now-fluid brain. (I have told one person about this – my wife – thank you Mine).
I do not just feel exhausted. I am exhaustion. It’s like everywhere I look there is always something or someone I need to take care of, whilst neglecting myself, because my ultimate focus is that which is outside of who I am.
I am not saying that my family has become a burden. They never will be. I love them and have never known anything more fulfilling than being able to help them.
But sometimes, just sometimes, I get hit by the notion (and often the reality) that there’s really no one out there to watch my back. I know that I have my friends and family to count on. I know that they will be there to offer unconditional support and love.
But I have to face the truth – that at the end of the day I am on my own. I deal with my own troubles, I battle my own demons.
It is a painful and inevitable gift. It is a gift because I know it is meant to teach me something. That is the only thing that's keeping me sane.
I am so lost but my brain had to let this question out: How do I ever wash my face like the models do it in facial wash commercials without giving myself an unexpected bath?
How do they ever do it?
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