eros the bittersweet

a great unraveling of endings and beginnings


they're waiting

the last few days...

no, make that the last few months have been filled with adventures - most of which i share with and owe to my wife.  but, whenever i get the chance to, i spend my time alone reading a book - or contemplating the next subject i would like to talk about.

but mostly i have just been reading.  work has become busier than ever and i am also preoccupied when i take my rest days, shuttling back and forth between manila city (where jona lives) and pasay city (where i live).  in spite of the daily craziness of my life or my lifestyle, i compel myself to pick up a book and keep my imagination and thoughts running - for fear that "i" will get rusty.

i have been going through ambeth ocampo's 'looking back' series, a compilation of ocampo's most cherished, most entertaining write-ups as published in the philippine daily inquirer - dealing with bits and pieces, odds and ends, darkness and light surrounding the philippine's history as a country and as a culture.  

prior to watching 'the hobbit' in the big screen, i bought myself the book and drooled over j.r.r. tolkien's extraordinary talent for story telling, after which i jumped to seth grahame green's pride and prejudice and zombies.

i know i have to find time and make time to do all the things that i am passionate about - writing and reading.  prior to jona coming home last november, i have conjured roughly around five hundred and thirty sonnets - some of which i have not had her read or posted on my other blog (  there is no cheating this, so yeah, i am psyching myself to finish at least two books a month and write poems as often as i possibly could.

here are some titles i've got lined up this summer:

i have not seen the hollywood interpretation of cloud atlas, and i am going to chastise myself and avoid watching it before i read the book penned by david mitchell.  last christmas, i also got myself two other books - special topics in calamity physics (by marisha pessl) and forty tales from the afterlives (by david eagleman) but i only got as far as covering them with plastic.  how pathetic.

for our twenty-ninth month together, jona got me a copy of the graphic novel rendition of stieg larsson's enduring dark tale about lisbeth sjolander in the girl with the dragon tattoo (book 1).  according to powerbooks, the second installment will be available some time this may.  that's definitely something to look forward to.

in the mean time, i will curl up in a corner, find a decent amount of light so i could read my books in peace.  they are waiting, they are calling for me, and they are not going anywhere.

the lamp of memory by john ruskin

turning a new leaf

i have been away for five long, arduous, painful months.

and it is all because of her.  satellites have ceased oscillating as i found traces of her - memories, visions, scents - in my life.

and she never really did leave me.  she never has and i am praying that she never will.

it was november 25th of last year that jona decided to come home.  it was a bittersweet 'return,' as she was (and still is) confronted with challenges concerning her family, driving her to leave her work abroad and go back to manila.

despite this, i feel blessed having to finally 'see' her.  after a year and five months (which translates to 'forever' in my vocabulary), i found her waiting in my room, gazing at me as i entered the door.  i initially didn't know how to react to this, everything was a huge haze (and i just woke up that time), but my feet 'ushered' me toward this soul filled with a kind of brightness that is both silent and engaging - as if it is requiring for you to pay attention to her.  i inched my way to her and embraced her.  it felt like that was all that i could do that very second.  i wanted to say and offer much more, we have not been together more than a year, but i needed to make sure i am not stuck in some reverie.

and all those times we lost to arguments, to the impossible distance between us, moments that were given up so we may follow our paths and give birth to more dreams and realities seemed to have faded away.

she is home, at last.  although this set up is temporary, i am grateful that i am able to look at her and kiss her, that she is close enough to be longed for and desired, that she is close enough to be held and be told how much she is loved.

i am sorry i have been away.  i am sorry i haven't been able to share my ramblings with you guys.  just would like to let everyone know that i am okay.  that right now, my heart is basking in light and love, and that at this moment, i have nothing else to ask for because i have her with me.

meditations by marcus aurelius

the final testament by james frey

celebrations by maya angelou

mibf version 2012

i went to the recently held 33rd manila international book fair at the smx convention center in moa. aside from having briefly suffered from option paralysis, i played the role of a salmon and it was inescapable - what can you expect.

there were hoards and hoards of people swimming and swinging to and from all imaginable direction. that for a moment, i thought to myself that if it had been possible to go through me, i have no doubt there would be a number of them who would opt to do that.

and just like always, the first shelf i would visit in any book store, whether it be someplace as common as national book store or any one of those specialty book shops (powerbooks, fully booked, sketchbooks, a different bookstore) - i hung around this little space, a haven of sorts - for those seeking to read what would often be construed as lewd or offensive and find them 'tastefully done' - the erotic literature section:

but in my humble opinion, e.l. james' fifty shades series still does not offer the kind of material that would make it 'enough' to be in the same spot as anais nin, anne rice or henry james. it has just not achieved the notoriety all those three other writers has achieved.

one reason to be truly excited about when going to the mibf is that this is the only other time i know they would take twenty percent off of philippine publications, so as you might have guessed, i spent just about enough time rummaging and going through shelf after shelf in the space occupied by anvil publishing. until finally i settled for all the 6 books in ambeth ocampo's looking back series. i had the nostalgic recollection of how i would wait for his column on the philippine daily inquirer, how i would spend my mornings (during saturdays and sundays) and evenings (during school days) when i was still in high school - always on the lookout for trivia and trivialities, for information - whether necessary or unnecessary.

also - i got myself a copy of haruki murakami's kafka on the shore and after dark - an author who has been mentioned by my best friends reich and jerlen, one during a random conversation while we were drinking wine and celebrating her birthday, the other on a post on our facebook group 'booklust.' it did not take long to convince me to try reading his work, i checked the blurb and was instantly impressed with the reviews about his what the heck, a shot is a shot and that's precisely what i am giving him.

the manila international book fair always have been an avenue for the bibliophiles to convene, no matter the truth some of us will remain faceless or nameless until the next year's book fair. but the most important thing there is that we do not feel as 'geeky' or as 'lonely' this time of the year - as there are thousands upon thousands of people we are sure would flock one place, (wherever the book fair will be held) with an appreciation for the written word and an undeniable love for reading.

in a world now so heavily dependent on getting information through and on the world wide web, it gives me a good feeling that there are still those who chooses to hold a book in their hands and turn the pages and live the the magic found in prose, poetry, dreams, realities, realizations, aspirations of all those who excised blood, sweat and tears and (possibly) other bodily secretions to share their stories.

this has a title and definitely has an author

i forgot to take note of the book title and the name of the author who penned it but i saw this at powerbooks last friday. hopefully when i go back i can get the details and share them with you.

om love by george minot

project blurb

there is always this fraction of me that resorts to apologizing whenever i am unable to write on this blog. not that i am expecting for anyone to closely follow what i do or what i have been up to or what has been keeping me busy.

during the weekend i conjured this mini project of sorts. since i spend about enough time in bookstores and libraries and a self-confessed bibliophile myself, i would like to offer blurbs of random books to my readers - to one, two or three of my most faithful minions. :)

these can be of books that i have read or i want to read or books that i might not be too curious to buy but curious enough to read for a moment and take a picture of it.

if you happen to visit my blog and would like to share a blurb, you may send the photograph to my e-mail: please do not forget to include the following details:
  • book title
  • author
  • your name
  • a gist about you
these are things i would like to ensure will be part of my post.

thanks for dropping by and keep burning. :)

anais nin

and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

t.s. eliot

i should have been a pair of ragged claws.

frida kahlo

i hope the exit is joyful and i hope never to return.