they're waiting posted by imani , Tuesday, February 19, 2013 at 8:55 PM, in Labels: freefall

the last few days...

no, make that the last few months have been filled with adventures - most of which i share with and owe to my wife.  but, whenever i get the chance to, i spend my time alone reading a book - or contemplating the next subject i would like to talk about.

but mostly i have just been reading.  work has become busier than ever and i am also preoccupied when i take my rest days, shuttling back and forth between manila city (where jona lives) and pasay city (where i live).  in spite of the daily craziness of my life or my lifestyle, i compel myself to pick up a book and keep my imagination and thoughts running - for fear that "i" will get rusty.

i have been going through ambeth ocampo's 'looking back' series, a compilation of ocampo's most cherished, most entertaining write-ups as published in the philippine daily inquirer - dealing with bits and pieces, odds and ends, darkness and light surrounding the philippine's history as a country and as a culture.  

prior to watching 'the hobbit' in the big screen, i bought myself the book and drooled over j.r.r. tolkien's extraordinary talent for story telling, after which i jumped to seth grahame green's pride and prejudice and zombies.

i know i have to find time and make time to do all the things that i am passionate about - writing and reading.  prior to jona coming home last november, i have conjured roughly around five hundred and thirty sonnets - some of which i have not had her read or posted on my other blog (alifetimeofdesire.blogspot.com).  there is no cheating this, so yeah, i am psyching myself to finish at least two books a month and write poems as often as i possibly could.

here are some titles i've got lined up this summer:

i have not seen the hollywood interpretation of cloud atlas, and i am going to chastise myself and avoid watching it before i read the book penned by david mitchell.  last christmas, i also got myself two other books - special topics in calamity physics (by marisha pessl) and forty tales from the afterlives (by david eagleman) but i only got as far as covering them with plastic.  how pathetic.

for our twenty-ninth month together, jona got me a copy of the graphic novel rendition of stieg larsson's enduring dark tale about lisbeth sjolander in the girl with the dragon tattoo (book 1).  according to powerbooks, the second installment will be available some time this may.  that's definitely something to look forward to.

in the mean time, i will curl up in a corner, find a decent amount of light so i could read my books in peace.  they are waiting, they are calling for me, and they are not going anywhere.

the lamp of memory by john ruskin posted by imani , at 8:31 PM, in Labels: project blurb

turning a new leaf posted by imani , at 7:54 PM, in Labels: freefall

i have been away for five long, arduous, painful months.

and it is all because of her.  satellites have ceased oscillating as i found traces of her - memories, visions, scents - in my life.

and she never really did leave me.  she never has and i am praying that she never will.

it was november 25th of last year that jona decided to come home.  it was a bittersweet 'return,' as she was (and still is) confronted with challenges concerning her family, driving her to leave her work abroad and go back to manila.

despite this, i feel blessed having to finally 'see' her.  after a year and five months (which translates to 'forever' in my vocabulary), i found her waiting in my room, gazing at me as i entered the door.  i initially didn't know how to react to this, everything was a huge haze (and i just woke up that time), but my feet 'ushered' me toward this soul filled with a kind of brightness that is both silent and engaging - as if it is requiring for you to pay attention to her.  i inched my way to her and embraced her.  it felt like that was all that i could do that very second.  i wanted to say and offer much more, we have not been together more than a year, but i needed to make sure i am not stuck in some reverie.

and all those times we lost to arguments, to the impossible distance between us, moments that were given up so we may follow our paths and give birth to more dreams and realities seemed to have faded away.

she is home, at last.  although this set up is temporary, i am grateful that i am able to look at her and kiss her, that she is close enough to be longed for and desired, that she is close enough to be held and be told how much she is loved.

i am sorry i have been away.  i am sorry i haven't been able to share my ramblings with you guys.  just would like to let everyone know that i am okay.  that right now, my heart is basking in light and love, and that at this moment, i have nothing else to ask for because i have her with me.