has been about waiting.it has been about loving and lingering. it has been about our journey, our sacrifices, our distance, our tears.
but more than anything, the last three hundred sixty five days have been about keeping what we have alive, keeping what we have burning, and realizing every single second there is that nothing has been wasted.
i would not want to live the last year any other way. in another lifetime, i am sure i would still want you to be my partner-in-crime, my shock absorber, my sporadic nemesis, my best friend, my soul mate, my wife, the mother of our rohan.
for the past year we both have succeeded in laughing at the most mundane things, we both have succeeded in patching things up even after the worst of arguments. we have succeeded in wrapping each memory with nothing but desire, knowing that we were never alone, and that we will never be on our own.
what i want to really tell you is this, jona -
more than the sadness (or literally, being alone), in the last year i have challenged myself, i have surprised myself at what i can actually do, what i doubted (and possibly you did too) i could do. you have kept me going and have kept me sane (or have driven me insane, at times). but no matter has happened and no matter what will happen, i am assured that i have someone who will not let me down, i have someone who will always attempt to learn how to figure 'me' out, i know it can be challenging. i have someone who is proud of what we share and who is proud of me. i have someone who will fight for me and whose belief in my abilities is unwavering.
since i discovered my passion for written words, i have always made it a point to mark a moment - all by taking my pen and writing memories and visions and dreams down. i have never been this busy. as a matter of fact, i have been busier writing on your blog than on this one. hahahaha. though i only have posted (i think) two hundred plus sonnets of the three hundred and sixty five, i will see to it that you will always read something new in the next few weeks every time you visit your site.
so let me go back to that same road that took you away from me. and let me tell you that i will remain - that i will wait, that as much as i still could, exercise more patience, that i will be there until you emerge from oblivion and until i can hold you close again.
before you left, i promised that i will give you a sonnet for each day that we are not together. an entire year has passed, in a sense, we both have made that trip around the sun, this time, noting a different kind of anniversary. nothing could be more black and white. nothing could be more exact or precise. more than feeling a sense of accomplishment because i have proven i am still able to write, because you have prevented my brain from getting rusty, i feel that there truly is nothing i cannot overcome as long as your roses will be there to guide my fragrant remembering.
i love you, my lifetime. all my thoughts and wishes are for you.
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