the thunder make the skies swell with
an inevitable ache, my mind drowns in
the pleasure of anaesthesia ~ in its
simplest, rawest form ~ which is a being
named you ~ a being whom I named my
prayer and desire, my reason and my
battle, now the hours lay on the bed
awaiting your gentle mercy to decide
its fate, the anger of rain drench the
flowers that thirst for light, and i am
moved by the sudden, gaping void in
my room, now without you, now helplessly
remembering the seconds you held
my body as if it were your own.
crave
your eyes brimming with petals
of unknown flowers, craving the next
weeping moment, or the second that
holds your laughter unseen but thundering
a heart that desires the heedless, selfish
prism that carry the waves that
you have given existence to, suddenly
all the things you hide emerge from
a vague sense of drowning, clasping the
shadow your gaze makes, grasping for
one, final, harrowing breath
entangled to the dark, bristled
tethers of my mind, haunted by the
drifting scent of your skin.
of unknown flowers, craving the next
weeping moment, or the second that
holds your laughter unseen but thundering
a heart that desires the heedless, selfish
prism that carry the waves that
you have given existence to, suddenly
all the things you hide emerge from
a vague sense of drowning, clasping the
shadow your gaze makes, grasping for
one, final, harrowing breath
entangled to the dark, bristled
tethers of my mind, haunted by the
drifting scent of your skin.
stray
my thoughts stray to you this very moment, and there is nothing that embraces my heart in this wild and pensive afternoon save your fire ~ everything that i can recall of you. the fire in your spirit, the gentleness of your gaze, the compassion in your touch, the bravery of your words. i am missing you terribly, my love. i couldn’t bear having to sleep on my bed alone. i have a confession to make. i don’t believe i still know what it is like to spend my days alone. i have grown familiar with your laughter and sigh, your stories which you utter just before we head to slumber. and now i am seeking the sound of your voice. and let me tell you this, my love. there is nothing quite like it. there is no one quite like you. there couldn’t be. and how fortunate am i for having stumbled upon you, or, waiting just long enough so you may find me. you have sustained me the past year and a half, and i know i’d be counting my blessings every single day, for the rest of my life.
so, thank you. none of which i have ever mentioned, done, or written would suffice to show you and let you know just how much you mean to me, how much of my life you have changed for the better. even when my body is tired after a long day of work and toil, i do not want to do anything right now but think of you. you crowd my thoughts and keep my heart beating, and even when the daily craziness of my life suffocates me and pushes me to the edge, looking at you and hearing you is enough to lift my spirit. i do not know how you do it, but I now believe that some things, or in this case, some beings are made only of two things ~ love and magic. that is you. there hasn’t been anything you have created or uttered that weren’t made of those. your love resembles the peace after a storm, the flowers that blossom after a hard and unforgiving winter, the dawn that follows dusk. thank you for making me realize that there is much goodness in life than i thought it held for me. you were that gift, that wonder, that surprise that was waiting for me in the end. and who would have thought that the end would afford me a new beginning? thanking you would be one of those that i could do, but more than these words i engrave on paper, i want you to know, understand and believe that i will love you, in the face of harshness, impatience, or lack of understanding.
so, thank you. none of which i have ever mentioned, done, or written would suffice to show you and let you know just how much you mean to me, how much of my life you have changed for the better. even when my body is tired after a long day of work and toil, i do not want to do anything right now but think of you. you crowd my thoughts and keep my heart beating, and even when the daily craziness of my life suffocates me and pushes me to the edge, looking at you and hearing you is enough to lift my spirit. i do not know how you do it, but I now believe that some things, or in this case, some beings are made only of two things ~ love and magic. that is you. there hasn’t been anything you have created or uttered that weren’t made of those. your love resembles the peace after a storm, the flowers that blossom after a hard and unforgiving winter, the dawn that follows dusk. thank you for making me realize that there is much goodness in life than i thought it held for me. you were that gift, that wonder, that surprise that was waiting for me in the end. and who would have thought that the end would afford me a new beginning? thanking you would be one of those that i could do, but more than these words i engrave on paper, i want you to know, understand and believe that i will love you, in the face of harshness, impatience, or lack of understanding.
i would never let the world win. for you have become greater than this world. you have become its reason and its origin. you have become the axis that permits it go go around. you have become the universe. i will not stop, i will remain. i love you as ever.
cycle
a revolution, a complete, tangible
resolve, a naked twilight and
a fragile dawn that you clasp
in your hands doubting
there could be a beginning to this end
the taste is bitter yet my mind
unfastens the thread that lock
the memory of your smile and your stare
your incandescent absences make of the
velvet moonlight such a useless and vague
sight, the hollow within me gets emptier still
awaiting a beat, a hum, a rhythm, a dance,
an adagio, a rise and fall between
the breath and sigh of your furtive eyes.
resolve, a naked twilight and
a fragile dawn that you clasp
in your hands doubting
there could be a beginning to this end
the taste is bitter yet my mind
unfastens the thread that lock
the memory of your smile and your stare
your incandescent absences make of the
velvet moonlight such a useless and vague
sight, the hollow within me gets emptier still
awaiting a beat, a hum, a rhythm, a dance,
an adagio, a rise and fall between
the breath and sigh of your furtive eyes.
curve
your eyes, lonesome and listless
wondering if my hands would
ache for and seek the plains and
contours of your body i have
adored, desired, hailed in silence
suddenly, i thought to myself
why dare the days and nights that
would unfold after this very moment
when you can claim and exalt
the next ten years ~ see me
year, discover, discern and delight in
the scars and flaws that make you
the lines and curves that define
the one i love, my flame and my lifetime.
wondering if my hands would
ache for and seek the plains and
contours of your body i have
adored, desired, hailed in silence
suddenly, i thought to myself
why dare the days and nights that
would unfold after this very moment
when you can claim and exalt
the next ten years ~ see me
year, discover, discern and delight in
the scars and flaws that make you
the lines and curves that define
the one i love, my flame and my lifetime.
react
leaning into the conundrum
seeking how you would react
to the feel of my skin
labored with the heady,
amorous, purple haze
of flesh, you reap the breadth
of this soul, broken and dissembled
by a sigh, i await
the next touch with bated
breath, mourning as the hour
passes, inevitably, the ink
seeps into the papyrus,
the way my lips would crave
for the metallic taste of your waters.
seeking how you would react
to the feel of my skin
labored with the heady,
amorous, purple haze
of flesh, you reap the breadth
of this soul, broken and dissembled
by a sigh, i await
the next touch with bated
breath, mourning as the hour
passes, inevitably, the ink
seeps into the papyrus,
the way my lips would crave
for the metallic taste of your waters.
endless
your kisses weave and
thread colors into one delicate
and faithful white, telling
the story of an unspoken, ancient
language, my soul falls, helpless,
abandoned, abated, arrested
beyond repair, i crave the natural
element of your desire ~
its scent, its darkness, its malleability,
its openness, its sanctity
my heart now knows that
some infinites are tangible,
that some are profound ~
your eyes, your skin, your love.
thread colors into one delicate
and faithful white, telling
the story of an unspoken, ancient
language, my soul falls, helpless,
abandoned, abated, arrested
beyond repair, i crave the natural
element of your desire ~
its scent, its darkness, its malleability,
its openness, its sanctity
my heart now knows that
some infinites are tangible,
that some are profound ~
your eyes, your skin, your love.
years
the vacant hours stare
into your gaze filled
with the ardor and languor
of fire, mercilessly excising
tears and laughters from
what once was an empty
hand, which your lips now
burden with a definite,
exact, amber light, the haunting
color of your eyes and what
i would imagine the rest
of your unarmored body
tastes like, and as seconds
spin into hours, days become years.
into your gaze filled
with the ardor and languor
of fire, mercilessly excising
tears and laughters from
what once was an empty
hand, which your lips now
burden with a definite,
exact, amber light, the haunting
color of your eyes and what
i would imagine the rest
of your unarmored body
tastes like, and as seconds
spin into hours, days become years.
top one hundred
last year was filled with surprises. initially, i thought to myself that if i would be asked to describe how the last year have been i would only be able to mention 2 words (in proper order) - low and high.
then i thought of just how blessed i truly am and realized i never have to limit my world and encase everything on those two things. there is just so much to be thankful for, so many things that kept me grateful and full of faith and hope.
i hope we all take the time to look at the past so we can map our future and relish the present as we should.
i have seen this list on facebook twice, i think, and have been meaning to reply or re-post it on all my other friends' pages, but work got in the way of fun (hahaha!) so i am only doing it now.
rumor has it that this list was from bbc's big read campaign back in april 2003, where they began the search for 100 of the best-loved novels. apparently, it has nothing to do with bbc, as it's part of the guardian list of 100 best books. and apparently so, the guys at bbc believe that most people only have read about 6 of the 100 books. i beg to differ. which is why i am posting the roster and marking those that i have had the pleasure of devouring in idleness:
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien - tolkien is perpetual, that i tell you
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte - yes, i have
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee - read this in grade school
6 The Bible - i wouldn't dare say i have read everything. passages yes, as there are things that must be taken in small doses
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens - read this in high school
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott - yes, i have
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 The Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger - the book of my life
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll - yes, i have
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis - yes, i have
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen - yes i have
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis - this is part of the chronicles of narnia
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden - i have, thanks to my sister. such a heart wrenching story
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne - yes i have...which kid has not, anyway?
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown - yes i have
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - the first garcia-marquez book i have read
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen - yes, i have
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zifon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens - yes i have
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon - a joy to read
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - i love this book!
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov - yes, i have
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt - yes, i have
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy - read this in high school
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker - yes, i have
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno - Dante - i happen to like this ('we have no hope and yet we live in longing')
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens - a favorite when i was a child
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom - yes, i have
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - yes, i have
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery - yes, i have
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factoy - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
that's it for me so far. it's just odd not to see isabel allende, milan kundera, neil gaiman, friedrich nietzche, kahlil gibran or paulo coelho on the list. or jessica zafra for that matter. by the way, twisted 9 is already out. go get a copy if you're in dire need of humor and wisdom for the new year. cheers!
then i thought of just how blessed i truly am and realized i never have to limit my world and encase everything on those two things. there is just so much to be thankful for, so many things that kept me grateful and full of faith and hope.
i hope we all take the time to look at the past so we can map our future and relish the present as we should.
i have seen this list on facebook twice, i think, and have been meaning to reply or re-post it on all my other friends' pages, but work got in the way of fun (hahaha!) so i am only doing it now.
rumor has it that this list was from bbc's big read campaign back in april 2003, where they began the search for 100 of the best-loved novels. apparently, it has nothing to do with bbc, as it's part of the guardian list of 100 best books. and apparently so, the guys at bbc believe that most people only have read about 6 of the 100 books. i beg to differ. which is why i am posting the roster and marking those that i have had the pleasure of devouring in idleness:
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien - tolkien is perpetual, that i tell you
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte - yes, i have
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee - read this in grade school
6 The Bible - i wouldn't dare say i have read everything. passages yes, as there are things that must be taken in small doses
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens - read this in high school
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott - yes, i have
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 The Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger - the book of my life
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll - yes, i have
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis - yes, i have
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen - yes i have
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis - this is part of the chronicles of narnia
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden - i have, thanks to my sister. such a heart wrenching story
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne - yes i have...which kid has not, anyway?
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown - yes i have
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - the first garcia-marquez book i have read
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen - yes, i have
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zifon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens - yes i have
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon - a joy to read
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - i love this book!
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov - yes, i have
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt - yes, i have
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy - read this in high school
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker - yes, i have
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno - Dante - i happen to like this ('we have no hope and yet we live in longing')
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens - a favorite when i was a child
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom - yes, i have
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - yes, i have
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery - yes, i have
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factoy - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
that's it for me so far. it's just odd not to see isabel allende, milan kundera, neil gaiman, friedrich nietzche, kahlil gibran or paulo coelho on the list. or jessica zafra for that matter. by the way, twisted 9 is already out. go get a copy if you're in dire need of humor and wisdom for the new year. cheers!
burning red
i shall begin this one differently.
you are impatient, you can be very stubborn. you are sometimes condescending, you sabotage perfect moments, 'it's fine' rarely means totally all right for you, you are confident but gets rattled when we begin arguing, you know your skills and capabilities but you keep your quiet when i ramble about literature, you have obsessive-compulsive tendencies and crazy notions
but...
i never have quite seen anyone love my family the way you do, you are one of the most thoughtful, kindest souls i have ever met, you have made me feel so valued, so significant, and you did that when i started questioning my worth, i have never seen a light as bright as yours, or a color as intense, you taught me to love myself by loving me just a bit more every single day, you have made love to and caressed my soul without touching me ~ by simply assuring me that i make you want to dream, you have given me the freedom to embrace the things (flaws and imperfections) that make me human.
i may not have been the first, or the one who has been there the longest, but i know you know i am the one who has offered as much depth as she could ~ when it comes to loving you. i cannot be anybody else but myself ~ my flailing, succumbing, thriving self ~ who cherish that which creates you, ready to hold you still when you are shaken, share a laughter with you after a long and arduous battle, willing to fight for you if it means keeping both of us breathing, this soul never will measure the distance between now and the years ahead of us, instead, it will plant seeds of good memories along the path it shares with you.
you are impatient, you can be very stubborn. you are sometimes condescending, you sabotage perfect moments, 'it's fine' rarely means totally all right for you, you are confident but gets rattled when we begin arguing, you know your skills and capabilities but you keep your quiet when i ramble about literature, you have obsessive-compulsive tendencies and crazy notions
but...
i never have quite seen anyone love my family the way you do, you are one of the most thoughtful, kindest souls i have ever met, you have made me feel so valued, so significant, and you did that when i started questioning my worth, i have never seen a light as bright as yours, or a color as intense, you taught me to love myself by loving me just a bit more every single day, you have made love to and caressed my soul without touching me ~ by simply assuring me that i make you want to dream, you have given me the freedom to embrace the things (flaws and imperfections) that make me human.
i may not have been the first, or the one who has been there the longest, but i know you know i am the one who has offered as much depth as she could ~ when it comes to loving you. i cannot be anybody else but myself ~ my flailing, succumbing, thriving self ~ who cherish that which creates you, ready to hold you still when you are shaken, share a laughter with you after a long and arduous battle, willing to fight for you if it means keeping both of us breathing, this soul never will measure the distance between now and the years ahead of us, instead, it will plant seeds of good memories along the path it shares with you.
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