I don’t even know where to begin. Perhaps I can start with what holds significance in my life right now.
You.
You never stopped being that for me. The most significant. We have grown apart to find ourselves and what will be best for us. But let me just say this.
There is no point in me hiding or masking what I truly feel.
Sometimes I feel I have disappointed you more than I have made you happy. But when I think of all the seconds we spent with each other – even when we were arguing – there is definitely more good there than bad.
Maybe I am the eternal optimist. Maybe it’s all just too good. And it all was so real and true and I could not have imagined sharing all those things with anybody else. At the end of it all - I know I cannot just continue saying 'maybe' - because I know things are just the way they are. It just is. There simply are no gray areas.
We have taken countless risks from the moment ‘we’ began. And I am taking this risk again, to stop telling myself to stop. Because I cannot. It would be sacrilegious if I would do that. I will never deny you that.
I do not want to grow old sad and full of regret just because I did not take the risk. You are always worth it. And I will put my heart on the line because that is what this moment is asking me to do. Because I want to be with you.
We have fallen. We are hurt, we may even feel that we are broken. But I know we both showed each other so much and had one hell of a time. But all in all – those highs and lows cannot be taken away and we both did what we did at that moment because that was the course to take.
I always have thought that one is bound to feel indebted to the person that they love the most. And I realized that this is not true. When you love, you give it freely. And that is what I am doing now. I am giving it to you. As I have given it to you and only you from the very onset.
Given all else that has happened – one thing remains the same.
You.
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