eros the bittersweet

mommy dearest

since i started working, i make sure i get my mom something really special every december. it has actually become this unwritten tradition. each year i see to it that i get her queso de bola. and her reaction never fails. each time i hand her this huge blob of cheese she looks like an adorable little girl opening her a present on christmas morning.

my mom would always say that when she was pregnant with me, she would crave for this kind of cheese. and what she'd do when my dad buys one for her is to wrap it carefully in cloth or plastic and hide it in a kitchen cabinet. she'd sneak at night or early morning and relish eating it all by herself.

so last week when i came home after doing the groceries, i asked my mom to close her eyes. and to my surprise she just told me - "i know what that is, i asked for it telepathically." this retort made me laugh my head off. here's a picture of my mom with her cheese:


tomorrow, december 11th, marks my mom's 63rd birthday. so here's to you, mommy - thank you for all those years of unconditional love and countless sacrifices so you can raise your daughters to be who they are now. thank you that you chose to stay with us so we can all be together and learn to depend on and look after each other. i know that we have had our fair share of differences and misunderstandings, but i thank you for putting me in my place when it is necessary and for hearing my thoughts and allowing me to also try to 'enlighten' you. thank you that you are our mother, that you are my mother. i am who i am largely because of you, and your tough love. thank you for never ceasing to love me even when some of my decisions didn't make sense to you at first.

finally, thank you for embracing who i am now - there may be some things that are just a little too challenging to accept, but, i am grateful for each time you attempt to respect the choices i have made. i will always do my best to make sure i go through life without stepping on anyone's toes - just like what you taught us.

happy birthday, mommy. no amount of love, of compassion, of understanding can ever surmount that which you have given us. i love you.

0 comments:

 

anais nin

and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

t.s. eliot

i should have been a pair of ragged claws.

frida kahlo

i hope the exit is joyful and i hope never to return.