eros the bittersweet

rasta pattie

i took a leave from work today, hoping to get a bit of rest, only to end up cleaning my room again. blame it on my mom - she somehow managed to procure a can of pledge furniture spray. that was more than enough to send me to an involuntary bookshelf-dusting frenzy. so most of my afternoon was spent re-doing the exact same thing i did the other day.

later this evening, i decided to go to the mall to pick up a few things (i.e.: plasticware to keep my stuff tidy, a retractable mouse, a 4-port usb hub). i decided against the mouse and the usb hub all because one was expensive and the other - won't be much of a help at all since i cannot use it for my external hard drive or my broadband stick and they don't have a stock of what could actually do all that for me.

after nearly an hour of scouring for what's on my list store after store, i got hungry and went back to the first floor and got myself some jamaican pattie. i have always ordered cheez n' beef for apparent reasons, but if there will be a shortage of it, i go for beefy mushroom or something tomato (i cannot seem to recall the name). the picture you see above was the cheez n' beef pattie when i was halfway through it.

i was looking forward to a meal that really did not involve a plate of rice this time, as i knew i had to go around a bit more and canvass for a chair i could use in my room. so i started to eat. or shall i say - i started to try to eat. the pattie was scalding hot i could not get to the most important part of it - the beef and the cheese.

do not get me wrong. i have always loved jamaican patties and it's a great tasting snack but this one nearly killed what passion i have left for its kind. i totally did not mind the thick chili paste i put all over it. it was the temperature of the food. it was smoking hot.

and even after several mini-bites, it was still smoking hot. literally. i was probably eating it for about 20 minutes and it never changed. every bite on the pattie led to a sore in my tongue. well, there weren't any actual sores but it did feel that way. for the entire time, my tongue really did not feel or taste much.

i would not say it was a disaster, maybe it is a call for me to exercise more of the patience i thought i had. i will most definitely go back to jammin jamaica and get myself some more patties and this time, tag a fire hydrant along.

zuckerberg's compulsion

i was on my laptop for a late-night catching up on what has been happening - which technically meant i was in some serious business updating my playlist. then i came across an article on the telegraph saying that within the next few weeks, the new facebook interface - timeline - will no longer be optional for some of its 800 million users. rather, it will be compulsory, which really is a polite way of saying you won't have any choice.

according to mark zuckerberg, facebook founder and ceo, he and his team have been working on a 'timeline' for all those who 'curate stories of their lives on facebook everyday,' and they aim to give users a different platform in which they can express themselves.

though the facebook team's idea sounds promising, as in zuckerberg's words: 'it has three pieces: all your stories, your apps and a new way to express who you are,' i myself have not changed my profile simply because i have always liked the original (within a few weeks, it may well be described as dead, gone or primitive) page - it is easy to read (judging that months after its launch, advertisements found its way all over whatever page you are on).

speaking of less complications - i am just thinking aloud - if it is imperative that the new timeline page be utilized in a matter of days, what would that make of the apple or blackberry users' profiles when they attempt to access it through their android or smartphones? this will be a major concern for some whose whole lives depended on it. myself excluded. hope you got that one bit figured out, mark.

the article also pointed out that web users 'generally do not welcome the redesign of sites and digital services they use everyday.' as a matter of fact, i answered the poll on the same page (and selected the obvious) and this should finish the rest of the story:

signs of the times

last january 18, 2012 - wikipedia launched a massive shutdown in protest of the united states' congress 'stop online piracy act' (sopa) and 'protect intellectual property act' (pipa).

anyone who tried viewing the site will see nothing but a black backdrop with the wikipedia group's strong political standpoint: "imagine a world without free knowledge."


wikipedia is the largest virtual encyclopedia in human history and time and again it has been a testament to how much the internet has evolved and has made a lot of information accessible. and for lawmakers to create bills that would hurt learning not just in the u.s. but the rest of the world and disguise it as a means to fight piracy, is pointless and just lame.

my only question is: why should a free society's fate be governed by u.s. legislators? if they want to censor what can be found and viewed via the world wide web, then the i suppose stricter laws in web hosting should be implemented. there should be more focus on sites that promote smut material - in written form or otherwise. other than that, i would say keep things as they are. 30 or 40 years ago, the web was made from nothing save the most basic of all web languages until finally html came along and believe me, when i was in high school, i thought it was the coolest thing ever. now it has become spectacularly interactive and offers much more than just access to a digital mailbox.

in the fight against their drive to silence free speech, i have placed a blue ribbon icon on both my blogs (erosthebittersweet.blogspot.com and alifetimeofdesire.blogspot.com):



this is not about jumping the bandwagon, but about supporting a truly worthy cause. this is not about making sure that my site remains available so i can rant but about changing the pace of things that have yet to come - in the hopes of giving other generations the chance to enjoy what we have gained from the internet.

for more details, do visit the electronic frontier foundation - it is a non-profit organization that intends to inform and help defend the cause of virtual media citizens and their fight for the right to free speech in the digital world. bloggers, let us not back down and let us form an alliance that will never tolerate the tyranny of those in power. be a proud bearer of the blue ribbon yourself!

i can see clearly now

today, i woke up with the memory of a humid afternoon spent in the streets of quiapo - not because of anything romantic or nostalgic. just because my legs hurt like hell. they do.

after spending brunch with nanay (jona's mom) at robinson's place manila, where we went to look for the most comfortable pair of sandals there is, i made sure that part of my itinerary is a side trip to quiapo. it was busy as ever, and i actually felt like a salmon - when i had to go against countless strangers in order to get to the other side.

i went straight to paterno st., a place known for wholesale stores that sell japanese soaps, cup noodles and other paraphernalia, dental supplies and of course - eyeglasses. a few posts ago, i have mentioned that i broke my red pair, or the other way around, the red pair broke on me.

i took the specs with me and went straight to cybervision - unfortunately, they no longer have a stock for the same frames because as they were told (and as i discovered), they were not exactly made with the best kind of plastic. what would you expect? the frames were at a mere php 200.00 when jona and i got it.

after being told that it was not available, i went into a 'scouring' frenzy - i checked for frames that are small enough so i would not have to buy a new set of multi-coated lenses and they can just transfer them. one assistant was very helpful and she didn't stop looking until she found a pair that would fit my face and was still available in black.

this would mean i now have a total of 3 specs. call me nuts, i don't care. i actually have cautioned my wife about this - she was the one who introduced the idea of getting glasses to me - this might be one of those things that i would collect. here's all that i have, the pair on top was what i had made yesterday:


all in all i spent about php 600.00 for the specs, a little less than a gallon of sweat walking around and taking the train to and from manila and a lot of winks from my wife -- saying that she liked my new glasses on me.

beginning and end in words

my love affair with words began a long time ago - back when i was barely a teenager, back when i was still trying to make sense of what was happening in my existence, back when i didn't have you.

i have always found solace in words, in poetry. when i was younger, reading bits of william shakespeare and robert burns helped me a whole lot in improving my vocabulary, but i had one problem - i was stuck in 'meter.' or shall i say, the incessant feeling that poetry is not poetry without rhyme.

but when i got older, i had the exposure to poets like pablo neruda (which is a staple, any reader should, one way or another, have the chance to read his poems), miguel hernandez, sylvia plath and diane ackerman. locally, we have been gifted with the verse and magic of ophelia a. dimalanta and ricardo m. de ungria. these poets have proven time and again, that an occasional rhyme would not kill a good material, and that free flowing verse is not a hindrance for someone to create a cornucopia of thoughts that will give us something strange, extraordinary and illuminated.

there have been times i strayed from writing - not necessarily poetry. there have been instances i allowed myself to get caught up in work, ending up exhausted, that i lost the slightest energy to update my journal or my datebook.

one such languor was broken when i promised my lifetime that i will write her a sonnet for every day that we are apart. it used to be a painstaking process - knowing that i am consciously counting the number of nights i have succumbed to slumber without her beside me. however, at present, the 'exercise' taught me how to appreciate what we do for each other more than ever - she, getting herself preoccupied so the sadness won't get to her, and i, proving her that she is more than reason for me to pick up my pen and let my thoughts spill on paper.

today i have realized that the average life span of a poetry notebook is about 6 months. it has been that long since i started writing and more than being a proof of pain or absence, it now reminds me just how much love we have between us. regardless of what has come and gone, of what we had to give up and what we gained - we are both still here, one the muse and the other the poet. this is for you - my light and love.

on maneuvering metals

so for the better part of the last two quarters of 2011, i got myself busy with securing identifications acknowledged by the government.

for most of my working life, i managed to just keep one, and it felt it sufficed - my office i.d. it, apparently, was all i thought i needed, especially when i need to make use of my medical benefits. but as i was considering the possibility of switching careers, therefore, losing the one i.d. i have kept.

out of what seemed to be a panic, i secured myself a tax identification i.d., i went to the social security system's office in macapagal and got my mug shot taken - it would take at least 6 months for them to process everything and my i.d. will be sent through mail.

i also had my passport renewed. it's a good thing my sister works in a travel agency (at sheraton hotel), she actually sent a request on my behalf to schedule an appearance in the department of foreign affairs. she cautioned that it might take at least a couple of months before i could get a schedule, but fortunately, she was able to get me a slot within two weeks time. in all fairness to the dfa team, i received my passport after 20 working days.

with the encouragement of my wife, she asked me to get myself a driver's license. under one condition - that i will only have a '2' restriction in it. bummer. haha! at one point, i suppose i have told her that i tried applying for one before because i wanted to buy a motorbike. she and my mom were totally against it and one of her instructions were to send her a picture of the license so she can really check the restriction i have indicated there.

i have been learning how to drive the last couple of months. been incessantly switching from manual to automatic, depending on the car my cousin(s) brought with them. it has been fun and nerve-wracking at the same time. what i am more curious with is how to troubleshoot a car - my cousin quipped - " we can do that. get permission to take this car apart so we can put it back together." crazy.

since then i have been pondering and hoping about the kind of car i would one day drive...and my top two remains to be a mini cooper (for the girl in me) and a ford escape (for the soccer mom in me):



eros and the add ons

as mentioned in my previous post (when i say previous i meant last year's), i have been trying to pimp eros up and this attempt resulted to getting a new headset and a tiny speaker. i now own three headsets - one was given by my wife, the other i bought out of cuteness (it came with a plastic thing that serves as a holder). turns out it's a hassle to use since i have to 'hang' it from my ears, causing the unprecedented discomfort.

last friday, i went to the mall and saw this cheap imation headset. what i liked about it is that it does block most of the background noise. either it's really an efficient piece of equipment or that it's just too small that even if i adjust it, it stays really close to my ears.

along with that, i saw a pair of speakers - logitech z110 - which promised to be 'simple to connect, easy to enjoy.' for a little over php 600.00, i got it from a store named octagon and the guy was kind enough to test the speakers for me before i head out of the door.


it works with computers, music players and other audio sources, long as they have the standard 3.5 mm audio input plug. it also comes with a simple way to help you manage unsightly cables, allowing you to 'wrap' the wires inside a tiny compartment at the back so you can keep your desk tidy. i only had one minor problem with it - it is usb powered. not that eros cannot take another usb operated device, i just didn't want to hook up so many things all at once. but that issue soon expired when i got myself a usb adapter at cd-r king for a mere php 50.00.

lastly, my friend kelly went home last week and got me a norton antivirus disk for a 'pasalubong.' i am still using the 60-day free norton antivirus program which came with the laptop. norton, for me, is a well-designed antivirus program. what's nice about it is that it gives you periodical notifications on how fast your computer is running and by far, has been really good at keeping eros disease-free.


timeline

so a few hours ago i received a ping from vince condicion - photographer extraordinaire. it was a great surprise and was bittersweet at the same time. he said he featured one of the photos he took of me on his facebook wall:


i remember that i have always loved this photograph, that it was one of the best in that series. photographs are synonymous to memories. and memories have this odd and haunting way of making you recollect things - conversations, laughters, how the beer bottles were clinked after one of us yelled 'kampai!,' or how we chased the sunrise just so that we can get the best out of the natural light peeping in the balcony.

i remember it has been at least about two years since this picture was taken. and oh my god a lot has unraveled. but somehow, the memory in that second, in that instance has remained after all the unraveling. and what's really good about seeing it again is that i am reminded of just how talented vince is to begin with - just how observant he is to details, or how critical he is of his subject and of himself, how passionate he is about photography and lastly...how magical it all was that he captured both the eloquence and silence of my soul in this photograph.

and as for your timeline, vince, i have no doubt there are still a lot of ideas to be hashed out, a lot of themes awaiting your grand execution, a lot of memories yet to be preserved within the lens of your undeniable gift.

to see more of vince' artistry and creativity, check this site out. cheers!
 

anais nin

and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

t.s. eliot

i should have been a pair of ragged claws.

frida kahlo

i hope the exit is joyful and i hope never to return.