eros the bittersweet

limbo

how many times have i been in limbo?

i have lost count...no actually, the fact of the matter is...i wasn't counting to begin with. but i do know, within me, that there has been a handful of instances i felt 'stuck.'

before i turned 26, i was...pretty excited about it - about 'ageing' and all that. i was a little daunted by the idea that there's nothing that i can do really to stop the world from revolving - but was pretty excited that there definitely would be a whole lot of other new things to understand and to learn and to discover.

until three days later...poof. all the excitement is gone. i can't really gather my thoughts and i do not believe i am making sense as i type (now).

sure i had fun when i celebrated my birthday...and was so relieved to find myself alive the day after my birthday. not exactly unscathed but hey...i am breathing and kicking and that definitely should be good enough.

then i realized that it isn't.

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anais nin

and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

t.s. eliot

i should have been a pair of ragged claws.

frida kahlo

i hope the exit is joyful and i hope never to return.