life begins and end with love, that i know. but i also know how different my life is – from the rest. my life begins in love and ends in a deeper understanding of how love is. that it encompasses all that which has happened and has been. it goes from a point of exhilaration to a point of a more subdued form of recognition – that love is something that we have to nurture and we have to work hard to sustain. also - that love drives people to insanity. but what a good source of craziness. i’d just have to say.
you and i have gone a long way, love. we have seen each other through the best and the worst. we bring out that best and the worst in each other. we have gone through the highs and lows and the ins and outs of being in a relationship. yet i sense tirelessness in us both. and i am just grateful that we are doing everything that we can to make everything work. i don’t see how anybody could want anything more.
i want to tell you, mine, that i clearly understand and i believe that it is the tears that lend us the glow of laughter. it is the shadows that teach us what light is. it is the hardships that make us realize that things are not meant to be taken lightly. it is pain that allows us a perspective of happiness – that it is something we all need to strive for. that happiness is not something that can be bought, it is something that needs to be achieved.
i would like to believe that we have caused each other more than just pain or doubt. let us not fail to look at the things that we both have worked so hard to get – we have caused each other hope and faith, the fortitude to stand through all this because we want to make everything last and because we want to be with each other.
that is all that matters to me. i have said this before, and let me say it again. if i am to be asked about what really counts – it is not the years, not the number seconds or days that we have consumed in battling to keep what we have, not even the number of times we both have cried over things we did not think we can overcome. it is the answer to the question: “do you love her?”
and the answer is yes. it is always yes.
why else would we both fight hard to preserve what we have chosen for ourselves – if not for love?
each time we feel hopeless because we cannot get our thoughts across, when we are looking at everything from above – it would appear that the valleys fill first. that the base, the core of all this is submerged in resentment, helplessness and desperation. when that happens, please allow me to remind you to look into my eyes, and feel that you fill me. that you make sense of all the senselessness that surround me. that there is more meaning in my life because you are in it. that i could not possibly share my heart with anybody else because you own it.
because my hand seeks nobody else’s but yours. for my lips ache to touch the warmth of your skin and not that of another person. believe me when i say you are who i want to be with. you are everything i have always wanted. you are everything i intend to keep.
trust me when i say that i will be there until the end. that you will never have to worry about what it is like to live your life alone – for it will never happen. i will be with you in height and in depth, in darkness and light, in life and love.
i will be with you, not because of despair but because i know i need to be. because i know that i can fulfill my promise and live up to what i vowed to give you – despite my flaws and imperfections. i will be with you, not because i am influenced by anything or anybody else, but because i know i need to be with you.
i cannot offer you a perfect life. i do not suppose either of us are looking for that. i cannot promise you that everything will be easy. however, i can promise you that i will not stop. i will not stop learning from the mistakes that i have committed. i will not stop at the slightest sign of an argument. i will not stop just because you are so ready to walk out of the door. i will follow you as far as i can. and i will tell you that my heart belongs to you. and that whatever happens, you can keep it, and all the memories that we have created. i will hold your hand and tell you that my life have so much meaning, simply because you are a part of it.
i offer you my life. i am not capable of so many things, but i do know that if i just try hard enough, each day, we both will discover reasons why i am worthy of your love.
i surrender everything to you – my sanctuary, my eternity, my reason, my love.
1 comments:
There is always some madness in love.
But there is also always some reason in madness.
--friedrich nietzsche ("on reading and writing)
Post a Comment