eros the bittersweet

day five

had to go to work for a few hours. and was on a head-on collision with the typical makati traffic at seven in the morning (on a monday) when i was on my way home.

had breakfast while my wife slept. i was in my channel surfing mode when the exhaustion kicked in. i dozed off and my body did not even try to fight it.

i cleaned my room today. realized that it takes approximately 6 cleaning sessions to use up a small can of pledge furniture polish. that's considering i only use it for my shelf and my study table. hmmm...am beginning to wonder if it was worth spending for - i remember buying it for php 160.00.

i want so bad to finish frey's the final testament today. i think i have stumbled upon an impasse - the story has become tedious. if there's one consolation - i think there's about 60 pages left.

while i was dusting the bookshelf, i thought to myself - there's much to be busy with, there's much i can do to take my mind off of things. take my mind off of smoking, off of withdrawal, off of having initiated this 'cleansing' process.

and it is true - there is much to do so i can enrich and gather myself. if only i can take a leave for an entire month. bummer.

i still have to clear my throat every once in a while. it is as if there's an irritation waiting to go full blast.

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anais nin

and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

t.s. eliot

i should have been a pair of ragged claws.

frida kahlo

i hope the exit is joyful and i hope never to return.