eros the bittersweet

day four

somehow the itch stopped. thanks to strepsils.

i suppose my body is still getting used to this. 'this' being everything.

it feels like what i did and what i am committing to is that major of a change.

well i 'know' it is major. why would it not be. five years of love and of hate and of questioning why i had to pick up this habit.

i was fidgeting earlier. i tapped my foot every time i had the 'urge' to smoke. i also noticed that my hands were sweating so i tried to keep it busy. i was able to accomplish a lot of things at work but got this numbing feeling on my forearm afterwards.

that's my carpal tunnel syndrome asking to be remembered.

p.s.: my wife reminded me to make mention of my impossible mood swings. sorry, mahal.

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anais nin

and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

t.s. eliot

i should have been a pair of ragged claws.

frida kahlo

i hope the exit is joyful and i hope never to return.