prime (part iii) posted by imani , Monday, August 25, 2008 at 2:24 AM, in Labels: freefall

I remember seeing Jessica sitting beside the booth where I got my Miguel Hernandez book.

I just realized I have been calling her by her first name. I hope she does not loathe me for doing so.

I was standing about a foot away from her, and I remembered how staring at her made me palpitate. She’s larger than life. Figuratively speaking. She just evokes this confidence that no one can explain. See…I am already struggling for words as I type this.

She intimidates the hell out of me just because she does. She is unquestionably one of the best Filipino writers we have. Period. Not only of her generation or my generation but possibly in the history of all of us Filipinos. Knowing how funny and ingenious her books are, writing about her now makes me feel like: (a) a daft (b) a retard (c) brain-damaged. You know what, make that (d) all of the above.

So I mustered all the courage that I could, took a deep breath and went up to her. I have this slightly and naturally deep voice for my age and my size, so what I did I modulated my voice. I called her attention using a smaller voice. I felt like a cat whimpering in her presence. Here’s our entire conversation (as I recall it):

Me: Hello, Jessica.
…Awkwardness…
Me: Can you sign this book
…Silence…

In a parallel universe, Jessica would have looked at me one second and would have eaten me alive the next. Thank God we are in this universe. So she looked at me and uttered:

Jessica: For who?
…Pregnant pause…
Me: (after clearing my throat) Me.
Jessica: What’s your name?
Me: Téa. T-E-A.

And she took the book (actually, her book) from my hands, flapped the cover and neatly wrote:

For Tea

Jessica Zafra
21.04.2007

In blue ink. I would have asked for her to write on her book using black ink, but by that time I already have passed out and the last thing I heard was Jessica screaming for them to douse me with cold water.