eros the bittersweet

XXV

Yes, I was in a hiatus – I was on vacation with Nosh – and yes, as the subject suggests, I just turned 25. My apologies if I don’t get to always update my blog. Nothing much has changed. After my leave, my boss asked me how my birthday was – and I told her: ‘Just another day, I just aged another year.’

If there is one thing I consider to be an injustice – it’s the freakin’ climate. I mean come on! Why does it have to rain on the one parade I get?

I think that as we age, we either get bolder or get more daunted by the things that we don’t have any control over (by this I mean – wrinkles, crow’s feet, freckles, warts – you name it). I don’t really know what to feel about being twenty-five. I still feel normal (scares the sh*t out of me that I had to write ‘still’ before the word ‘normal’). I would like to believe that I am growing to be a better version of myself.

I am not about to contemplate on the immensity of the universe – that’s just too intense and I would like to think that I would live long enough to do that another day (or year). I, on the other hand, would like to contemplate on and would like to share 25 random things about me – or about what has happened the last 25 years.

1. Every time I borrow a box of matches, I feel compelled to read the design and the details. ‘Royal safety matches’ says that one box contains an average of 48 sticks. I always have wondered if it’s true but never really counted.

2. I am guilty as charged. I was the one who asked Nosh out. I casually asked her one fateful October morning if she would like to get coffee with me and then wrote my number on a 1x1.5 yellow post-it. She never answered my question and never tried to send me a message just to let me know if it’s (the coffee session) looming in the horizon. I ended up splurging money on clothes to compensate for my defeat.

3. I am a self-proclaimed hopeless incurable romantic and a self-confessed X-Phile.

4. I have a huge crush on Angelina Jolie. Nosh and I watched the film ‘Wanted’ on my birthday. And just when the movie was about to start, I turned to Nosh and quipped: ‘Sorry if I won’t be glancing at you too much, I’ll be ogling at my first love.’

5. My dad passed away almost 11 years ago, and was buried the day before Christmas Eve. It was hell. For the next year and a half after his death, I would cry myself to sleep every night. Now, I can only remember how great he is and was as a father – he taught me how to swim, how to play domino, how to play fair, and how to go after the things that make me happy. I love you, Daddy.

6. I like hanging out in Powerbooks and Fully Booked because I can read materials that are just too expensive to buy.

7. The last book I read was ‘What God Wants’ by Neale Donald Walsch.

8. I have more books than clothes.

9. Three years ago, I had 7 ear piercings and a tattoo. To date, I have 3 ear piercings and 6 tattoos.

10. I was in love with my guy best friend for 7 years – I stopped because I felt like a ‘phase’ in his life, an ‘aberration’ if you may. So off goes the 7 years that I never could take back.

11. I have always believed that we do not know what we have until we lose it.

12. I love opening a book and smelling its pages.

13. I have a penchant for erotic poetry. I guess it is true when my best friend Monette said that all writers are erotic.

14. I can sing and I can play the guitar and (a bit of) piano, but I know I need to be better at it.

15. I don’t loathe my job…but I sometimes just feel so suffocated, so tired, so stressed out…that I want to go and ask our Business Head (the boss of all bosses, the head honcho, the big cheese, the overlord of the Ventus universe) if I can smoke in my pod. Because that would be really nice.

16. I create postcards for Nosh – and I love it that she posts them on the refrigerator.

17. The book I never finished (but would like to) is Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence.

18. I love Audrey Tautou but I just don’t like the fact that she couldn’t properly enunciate the phrase ‘papyrus scroll’ in the movie ‘The DaVinci Code.’

19. I puffed my first cigarette when I was 12…9 years later (at 21), I developed a smoking habit – I have a job and can pay for my vices.

21. I know that love does not conquer all, we can, however, conquer and overcome anything that we want to. We are the masters of our lives, we pull our own strings. We are not marionettes (but if someone would need to pull my strings for me, please God, let it be Angelina Jolie).

21. I have always felt that I look like one of the Muppets – maybe Ms. Piggy. Or Elmo. I like Elmo. But if I’d be Elmo, I’d probably be black.

22. I have a thing for Chinese-collared jackets. I have two in black, one in forest green, one in light brown and another in dark brown. Makes me feel like a biker chick. Tell me about it.

23. To be yourself is all that you can do – says Chris Cornell. Amen.

24. I think that the sexiest attribute in any person would be a take-charge character and the ability to laugh at his/her mistakes (or clumsiness, awkwardness) – or to humor oneself. Totally irresistible.

25. I am thrilled with the person I am becoming.

Here's to not losing the enthusiasm to grow a little older every year!

0 comments:

 

anais nin

and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

t.s. eliot

i should have been a pair of ragged claws.

frida kahlo

i hope the exit is joyful and i hope never to return.