allow me to speak of him. allow me to remember the venerable doyen of fire.
oo ernesto, ikaw yun!
i met ernesto...where else but that God-forsaken place (for those who knew him...you'd know where)...no actually, let me say this ~ it was and is still a God-forsaken place but he made it tolerable for me, for erick and jerlen. having said that...i just want to make it clear that i am able to tolerate so many things and thrive because i have him in my life. because he is that constant friend anyone can surely count on. i remember our first conversation being about sinead o'connor and sarah mclachlan. later on we perceived that we share more than a great interest in music...we love to muse over things that seem to not make sense to other people, we love films, we love coffee, we love poetry, we love angelina jolie.
he was there when i needed light for my path was dark and the my fears were unrelenting. now, even with this immense distance between us, for some magical reason he is able to do the exact same thing ~ speak to my soul and calm my nerves (ahahah). he is real. his friendship is real. and i am basking in his love and understanding right now.
i am sorry, ernie, if i failed you ~ if i failed in telling the entire world how great you are. you are such a wonderful being and emphatically, your doyens' lives would rot in ennui if not for you.
when i hear the word 'doyen' what comes to mind are thoughts about three people who have changed my life. three people who have made it possible for me to carry my burden and angst and have aided me in ridding myself of my worries and demons, even for a short period of time. when i hear the word 'doyen' what comes to mind are ideas about our differences ~ educational backgrounds, places of origin, age (if you will), talking decibels. but somehow, because of our natural aptitude to blend in the commonplace, we were able to discover something in each other that ultimately will bind us ~ friendship.
and that is why i am assured that even when i have not seen you for over a year...we remain to be each other's kindred spirit. i am grateful for you...even if that meant torturing you with having to keep my secrets and having to listen to me whine about anything and everything. that's what friendship is all about ~ it is love elevated to the level of blackmail. ahahaha
more than anything, ernie...i want to let you know that you are a lonestar no more (i am calling this post 'lonestar' because you told me you really love this norah jones song and because you feel that you are one). you will never be alone in your struggles, my love. you will never be alone in your crusade. you have permitted me to breathe by casting your love and light upon me. now, let me do the same for you.
let me be one of those who will love you unconditionally and without prejudice. let me be one of those who will stand by you and for you. let me be one of those who is blessed to have you as a friend. you are one of the most loving, loyal, intelligent and trustworthy beings i know (pardon me if describing you that way will give people the impression i am talking about a dog ehehehe).
i am proud to be your friend, i am delighted to be in your life. you are right when you said that the world will be better if we feed it love. i can only hope that everyone thinks like you, that everyone will share the same optimism. you are one of the reasons i know that life is good despite the bad, that life is a gift despite its curses. you are one of the reasons i know i can survive anything. because your courage gives me strength. because your faith gives me air. because your fire is unyielding.
because the doyens never will cease.
i love you, ernie.
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