this is only the beginning posted by imani , Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:47 PM, in Labels: freefall

I want to be with you because you let me be who I really am. And I want to do the exact same thing for you. I want to be with you because I know that I do not want to go anywhere else.

Because I cannot fathom the thought of sharing my life with someone else aside from you.

I am not perfect. I am not everything, and I cannot be everything. But I will always try – I will always attempt to do my very best, to win your affection and your love…and to make you feel that lastly, you never have to fear having to be alone for the rest of your life. I am here and I will be with you.

There honestly isn’t anything more that I could want. I have you and I know that from there I can overcome any hurdle that will be thrown my way. I know I am strong because you make me believe that I am, and because you show me that I can be.

Each time I am reminded of the things that we have pointlessly argued about, I just tell myself that you are still here, we are still together and that we are not heading anywhere without each other. That keeps me still and thankful. You keep me grateful and appreciative of what we have. And I know that what we now are able to hold in our hands is definitely something that does not come by too often.

As a matter of fact, this is the first time I am loving this way. This is the first time I am able to really go after what I want without the nagging feeling of possibly – defeat, the incapacity to make the one I love stay with me, the probability of disappointing the other person and losing everything that I hold dear.

This is the first time I wanted to promise so much of who I am, all that I want to be, to one person. This is the first time that I want to work really hard so you will never find it in your heart to leave what we both have built. I know how everything between us is precarious – I know that it sometimes feel as if we are walking on thin ice, that one mistake could lead to the death of us. And much of it was and is because of me – my character, my frailties, my imperfections.

And I am terribly and utterly sorry for having caused you pain. It is inevitable, I suppose, because we want for things to be heard and for things to be clarified. But right now all I want to say is that I love you. And that I have never loved anyone like this – I have never loved anyone this much…and I know I can still do and offer so much more.

And I will not stop here. We have a lifetime, my love. And just like you, I know that even when the thought of a lifetime daunts us and scares us – I have you – and you are the reason why I know I can survive anything and the cause why I know I will not be deterred by shortcomings and battles.

So let me take this time now, to tell you how grateful I am for having you. I am fortunate to be with you in this life and hold you the way you always have allowed me to – with passion coursing through my veins, with understanding and compassion passing between us.

I suppose that as we grow old, our desires and dreams become constant and stable. And my dream is to live a life with you, to provide for you and the children we will have. My dream is to embrace you every night and be the one to wake you up with kisses every morning. My dream is to sit with you and our children on our porch as we await the moon to shine. My dream is to take you and the kids to an ice cream parlor or a bowling alley every Saturday evening. My dream is to have your image permeate my reality when I open my eyes.

I want to be there for you. I want to be with you. You are the kind who wants to make this world a better place, and you are able to do that because you love unconditionally. I know that is true because you have made my world a great one. And I love you so. And it is because of the same love that I want to give you as much of the world I can, by giving you my heart and my love.

Marry me?